Don't Wake Up

Smallpox Is for Suckers

2007-09-23T20:01:00.000-07:00

So there I was. Sitting at work, minding my own business. I get an email, claiming that I am delinquent on my medical records, and therefore unready to deploy. The only thing I was missing, was my smallpox shot. I had heard plenty of horror stories about this guy, and was in no excitement to get this vaccination. However, if you're unfit to deploy, you are unfit to take leave, and I have a special lady coming out here in a few weeks. I would prefer to have some time off to show her around the island, and not be at work; so off to medical I went.

Also, they told me I had to.

Wednesay afternoon, I am shown a terrifying video of what smallpox can do to you, and why you need the vaccination. We are then shown a terrifying video of what the smallpox shot will do to you. Thrilled, to say the least. A brief interview shows that I am qualified to receive the smallpox shot, since I'm not pregnant, and I was ordered to.

The shot, is not a needle.

...just to give you an idea. It isn't all that big, but it hurts.

Anyway, you are injected three times, in a small triangle form, like the Coheed and Cambria logo, or the Predator's laser sight. Within a week, the three spots will have become small blisters, and will form one large blister, roughly the size of the dime.

One week passed, and there I was the following Wednesday, nervous. The Doc looks under my bandage, and LAUGHS. Didn't even try to hide it. No blister, NOTHING.
The result? 15 more shots in the same. Exact. Spot.

Well here it is Monday now, two days from my second check up. And wouldn't you know it? Not the slightest hint of a blister. Turns out that after your 18th shot, if you still don't show a blister, you are signed off on and considered inherently immune. I was asked if I was around cows a lot as a child. I wasn't, actually, but whatever the case may be...I was stabbed 18 times, for nothing.

Can't wait till my follow up on Wednesday. Suckers.

Try Again?

2007-08-26T02:25:00.000-07:00

So....I enrolled in college. I tried back in 2002, the year after high school as well, which got me nowhere. Between not being motivated, not feeling that I fit in, and the freedom of not being held accountable for being absent or not - I was gone nearly every class.

But hey. I was 18, and hanging out with friends and making raps was more important to me at the time.

Five years pass, I am in the Marines, and I am offered another opportunity to go to school. So...I try again.

I decide that working with youth has always interested me, so I will take a class in education.

Two classes have passed, and I have already decided that I would rather get a weekly papsmear than go to this class.

It is nothing against the teacher (who is incredible), my classmates (who are very open and friendly), or even the curriculum (which I have no room to debate anyway). It is the science, politics, and social circles that come with "teaching".

You can't just get a job, obtain a degree, or even make a group of friends, without conforming to what has already been set into motion before you got there.

What a sad revelation to come to.

To lose all faith in something you have such a high passion for in such a short time.

Perhaps that class made it all worth it. This one, I will actually finish.

Stay class, Okinawa.

Feels Like The First Time

2007-07-25T05:40:00.001-07:00

I am rediscovering my love and passion for music - and am loving every minute of it.

The meloncholy, the passion, even the mindless and fun works.

No matter what mood you're in, someone always feels like you.

So Many New Things...

2007-07-04T01:17:00.000-07:00

So here I am. SItting at the library on base, with my brand spankin' new laptop. And yes, of COURSE it's a Mac.
Problem being, the wi-fi on base is ran on Japanese frequencies (or however you term that). So the website come up with plenty of Japanese symbols and this and that. It took me 10 minutes to log on to my blogger account, and another 5 to find how to update my blog. This will take some getting used to.

Other than loss of web translation things are going well here. I just got promoted yesterday to the rank of Lance Corporal, so this laptop was my little reward to myself. Truth be told, I registered this one under Courtney's name, and then when I get another one I will send this one to her. My intentions are half sweet, taking care of my girl; half excuse for me to buy more stuff.

I will be getting a camera soon, so I will be able to post pictures on here. I thought Oregon was the most green, and San Diego had the best sunsets, but they have both been beaten hands down to Okinawa.

But it's still hard to read their websites.

Wow

2007-06-23T20:28:00.000-07:00

So...I live in Japan now. I'm in a receiving platton right now, so I will be pretty busy taking care of settling in. I pick up with my new unit on Wednesday. Wish me luck there!

I'll update more often once I get settled in, get internet, and all that stuff. Take care everyone.

Robert Redford Would Tell Me I Suck

2007-04-21T10:10:00.000-07:00

So, I have the video camera now. I taped us in the barracks. I taped us walking around the base. I even taped the barracks in the distance as we walked around the base. Of all the words that come to mind, "riveting" is not one of them.

My new-found aspirations to be an independent film maker, seems to not be panning out as hoped. My first feature is a short documentary, featuring Marines on a Navy Base who aren't allowed to leave. That might even end up being the name of the short film.

The Sundance Film Festival may not be ready.

The tape is about half way finished, and upon marking completion, I will ship the camcorder and my indie drama back to Courtney, who is still in Oregon, roughly eight bajillion miles away.

She won't like it, either. But a least now she will be able to picture in her head the places that I describe, and the people I live with. Think of it as The Real World, meets MASH, meets The Constant Gardener.

Today, we PT'd (physical training). Saturday it may be, but PT we did. It.
Today was ultimate frisbee, and my team ultimately scored 7 points to their 5, and it was a feeling of ultimate satisfaction, since the highest ranking Marine there was on my team as well, and he therefore did not need to destroy me for sucking at life.

He hasn't seen my video.

I wish I had a computer at my disposal, one where I could upload my drama onto it, edit it, put a little music here and there, maybe some sound effects, maybe a CGI little talking animal sidekick to accompany me around. I could then burn my labor onto disc, and distribute it all over. Instant cinema.

However, the lack of equipment gives the film more of a "raw" feel. Don't confuse "raw" with "poor and lazy".

The film will be not be rated. That would cut down on the "raw"ness. Ultimately.

Well now I've pretty much scribed out every scenario and plot of the audio/visual fest that is my life, right here on this blog. Now when Courtney sees it, she can say "Not only did it suck - the book was better".

Just wait till you get to the scene where we're allowed to go out in town in Newport.

School is VERY tough and demanding, but that will not be filmed. It's not pertinent.

Thought of the day: does it really have to be "ultimate frisbee"? That sounds like we should be listening to Quiet Riot blaring out of our Camarro and wearing our Master of Puppets cut-off shirts with ill fitted jeans. Frisbee Football, I thought, would suffice.

Whew!

2007-04-15T11:28:00.000-07:00

Week one of school is finished. It's Sunday now, and the weather is absolutely horrible. It rains sideways, and the wind is probably exceeding the speed limit - no joke. Granted, the speed limit on base isn't super fast, but it's still cold as all get out.

School is fairly tough. At least, it is for me. This whole legal thing is very new to me. Very interesting tho.

I am going to have Courtney send me her video camera over here, so I can make a kind of documentary of the school here. So it should be sufficiently boring, and be pretty much me acting like a moron trying to make people laugh.

Whoever anonymously posted a comment, come back! It's my turn to read your blog now. It's only fair...

Well I'm done for now. Every time I go to update my blog, I realize how mundane I must seem.

Oh and by the way, watch "Stranger Than Fiction". Surprisingly, it was really good.

Holla back.

4421

2007-04-01T11:26:00.000-07:00

Yeah, that's my MOS. 4421, Legal Services. School starts on April 9, which means I am pretty much just hanging out in the meantime waiting to pick up.

There are some pretty cool people in the class, and it's a small class. 23 Marines, maybe 25? Something like that, I dunno.

I don't go down to the Liberty Center (where the computers are) much here, because it's a long walk and we stay pretty busy. If I can find a spot for my PSP to get wi-fi maybe I'll update more on there. I'll look into it.

I swear I'm not as boring as this is all coming across. The problem is, many of these stories are of the "guess you had to be there" variety. I will say this...I hate Akon. Apparently everyone in our hall has that CD, and listens to it on volume 11 at any and all given chances. I like to battle it with the most white boy music I can muster on my iHome for my iPod (thanks, Katie). Oh, we want to listen to Chingy? Fine. Jimmy Eat World it is. You get the picture. And if you don't, I still have Limp Bizkit on standby. And trust me, the music may not be enjoyable, but the reaction of my hallmates is.

There are two Marines to a room on our hall. Small rooms, a dorm-like setting. Obviously girls share rooms. The hall is co-ed, the rooms are not. Any of the females on the hall could also fight me, and win.

Our NCO's (basically, our bosses or whatever that check on us) are way cool. Very laid back, so we don't have too much worry about, unless we're just being retarded.

We went to downtown Newport alot this weekend..very nice area, little expensive, and we stuck out like a sore thumb, so we made alot of friends.

My fiance (that's still weird to say!) is sending me an Easter basket. Pretty sure I love that girl alot.. I try not to make her mad too much.

Well I guess that's enough rambling for now. My cheeseburger is ready.

Hmm...

2007-03-23T15:32:00.000-07:00

I wonder if anyone still checks this thing?

I am pondering re-entering the world of blogging. I've got a lot to say.

I think.

March Madness is the sweetest thing ever.

Clarity

2006-10-12T19:20:00.000-07:00

Ever get ready to make a big decision, wondering if you are making the right one or not?
The bottle caps are gone, and the license plates are all expired.
Three more days to try again at something new.

2006-09-30T15:44:00.000-07:00

I leave for Marine Corps boot camp in 8 days.

Whew.

Some Artistic reading

2006-07-19T13:21:00.000-07:00

Hey there.

I haven't updated in a while, but I think some people still read from time to time.
Although I don't really have much to report right now, I thought I would just leave a sweet poem I came across for your reading enjoyment. It's really quite touching. I'll write more later!

Call me crazy, call me a fool
But I believe dreams that come true
Cuz I found myself kissing you that night
While I gazed at you asleep
Dressed up in my ripped up jeans
I relived that memory tonight
That was the past, we didnt last
And somehow I know it was my fault
I lost my chance for your hand
Now I could just kick myself

Look at all the mess Ive made
Look at all the games Ive played
I think of all the time Ive wasted
I couldve been with you
Now all I do is just blame myself
Trash another nice hotel
Some nights it hurts like hell to know
That I couldve been with you (something about you)
I couldve been with you (cant live without you)

All my thoughts are filled with you
Thinking bout the chance I blew
Knowing what I wish I knew back then
I was stupid didnt wait
Now my mind is in a state
Of wondering what couldve been
Now its much too late
I shouldve called
I shouldve crawled
I shouldve done everything I could
This is pathetic I shouldnt have let it in
Now I could just kick myself

Look at all the tears Ive shared
Look at all the years I spent
Lying in this lonely bed when
I couldve been with you
Losing you was a big mistake
The pain is more than I can take
All the smiles I try to fake
But I couldve been with you

Cuz I remember everything you said
All went to my head
Now Im missing you (missing you)
Wish I was kissing you (again)
I let you slip right through my hands
Like a thousand grains of sand
Now I cant stand where I stand with you now

All my wishes lie in vain
So Im left here to take the pain
Of knowing that you can live without me
Now my heart is the one thats breaking
Chances I shouldve never taken
I shouldve known there was more at stake when
I couldve been with you

Now look at the one whos crying
And part of me is always dying
Knowing I shouldve kept on trying
And I couldve been with you (something about you)
I couldve been with you (cant live without you)
Couldve been with you (something about you)
Couldve been with you (cant live without you)

It's Been Awhile

2006-04-04T18:25:00.000-07:00

So, you would think that after nearly four months of not writing a single blog that I would have plenty to talk about.

I don't.

So I guess I will just talk about what's new, since apparently nothing cool has happened prior.

A year ago, I had just moved from Roseburg, Oregon to Sacramento, (you should know that state that's in). Now although I am back in Roseburg again, I still feel like the biggest is yet to come. The biggest what, I don't know. Change I guess. And it's not exactly like I think something bad is going to happen, maybe even the big break for me. Whether it be a good job, a music opportunity, or something else potentiall really sweet. All kinds of doors are opening, and I have no idea how the heck you are supposed to figure out which is the one to follow through on.

Remember the blog about coincidences and license plates and stuff? It was all bogus. I investigated deeper into the situation. It really must have been either a huge random string of occurences, or I was just missing the point entirely.

Having a steady girlfriend in my life has really impacted me alot. The mere fact that I've found a girl willing to have a committed relationship with me is one thing, considering it's been almost 3 years since the last one.

When you are in a relationship with someone you really see a future with, it's like every major decision becomes even more significant, seeing as it is potentially affecting more than just yourself. Or is it just that you are suddenly more motivated and only want to make the most reasonable decisions based on that alone?

This is boring, so I think I'm done for now. I leave you with this...

If my parents had done "the special hug that people who love each other very much do" just days prior, or even after, would I be any different?

Something I've been wondering about. I dunno.

Later

The Ninja, The Mermaid, and The One Who Made Them Both

2005-12-15T17:04:00.000-08:00

Hey. If you want to check out an extremely rough sample of some music I am working on, go to crookedboy.blogspot.com - so, yeah...

That's all.

Thanks.

Show on Friday the 2nd

2005-12-01T16:00:00.001-08:00

For anybody local, or who feels like driving, come to The Lion's Den on Friday night here in Roseburg (right across from the Court House).

I am opening with a 3 song set of the solo music I have been working on, joining me will be Jerod Hurtienne, Caleb Brooks, and Jeff Wetherell (yeah buddy).

Concept is playing next, and then I am playing my first show with Left Waiting. Should be a good time. It's free, so there's really no excuse. Unless you can think of something cooler to do on Friday nights than listen to live, mediocre music. See you there!

2005-12-01T16:00:00.000-08:00

I Love The Sound Of You Walking Away

2005-10-30T17:13:00.000-08:00

I have always been a thinker. Always thinking, pondering, questioning. I do it to a fault. This week alone, I have really been trying hard to figure out a couple of things that that confuse the heck out of me.

First of all, what are coincidences? Is it simply when two incidences coexist? What if it's repeated, over and over, almost like a "sign" or something? What is the difference between coincidence, and significance? When should you start paying attention? Are these coincidences really occuring as often as I think, or is my constant festering over them only making me more aware for the next time it comes...when other "coincidences" are happening just as frequently, only I am too busy obsessing over one and not the other to take notice. Can a random string of numbers that I see every time I look at the clock, every time I check how far into the song I am, every license plate, and every other object that has the potential to string this numeric phrase out, have any significance at all? Or am I simply coming to the realization that I am putting too much energy into some kind of hidden message, rather than looking into what I do know, and building off that.

Secondly, why do people care? Think about it. When somebody seems troubled, a distraught look on their face, and is audibly sighing, I think that is the human equivelent to a car wreck on the side of the road. Nobody just drives by the wreck, they all slow down, give their "oh, how unfortuante"-esque remarks, raise a sympathetic eyebrow, etc. But do they really care? Are they willing do get out of their own vehicle on the path where they are going, and take the time to help? Or is it just them slowing down, because they have a few seconds of free time to waste so that they can fill their curiousity?

If you were stranded on a desert island alone for a time, wandering, and suddenly came across another person, you would be ecstatic. You would run up to them, arms raised, and want to know everything about that person, right? Of course. But why should it only be in a time of when YOU need somebody ELSE that you make the effort? Why do we sit in silence in line at the grocery store? Why do we drive past the homeless, in the freezing rain, and not take the time to give even a couple of dollars, even just a conversation,? Because we justify to ourselves that we are too busy, we have a schedule, or that they are lazy and are deserving of their present state?

Is there any faith left to be had in the human race?

Am I the biggest hypocrite of all for asking more questions, yet still doing nothing about it myself?

Your thoughts, suggestions, insults, and grammatical corrections are welcome. I leave you with this...

In my city, what do churches and homeless people have in common?
There's one on every corner.

If nothing else, thanks for listening.

Quick Update

2005-10-08T13:12:00.000-07:00

My music blog has finally been updated; be sure to check that out and see what's going on, if you're interested.

Click here

I'll Dig A Tunnel, From My Window To Yours

2005-09-30T10:49:00.000-07:00

It's been a while since I have posted - for that I apologize. I'll just go ahead and throw a few quick updates on here, and hopefully I can start posting more often from now on.

I am still in job limbo. There may or may not still be a possibility of interning at Jeff's church with the youth, and then there is still the chance that I can go back to US Cellular when they open a new location next month. In the meantime, I am going out of my mind sitting around the house, just catching up on old movies.

I'm sitting at Jeff's house right now, working on music. We might actually record some stuff today (I know I've been saying that forever, but I mean it this time...I think).
About a year and half ago I was working on a song, and an old "friend" of mine has since run off with the song, and is now using it in his new band. Lame. Either way, like I said with lack of internet access I'll see what I can do from here on out. Stay classy, planet Earth.

We're All In This Together

2005-09-12T10:18:00.000-07:00

I am exhausted, tho I am not complaining.
Last weekend was incredible. Jeff, Stacey and I rolled into Pondo right at 4pm - just in time for the wedding rehearsal. It was awesome being back. It has only been roughly a month, but I swear it feels like it's been forever.
But more importantly, the wedding. I have attended, been in, and DJ's numerous weddings, and I thought I had seen some nice ones. But Amanda and Jasen (or, Jay-Hova as I like to call him) had one of the best put together ones I've ever seen. I thought I was gonna lose it when they were having their vows read. If you were there, admit it - you know what I'm talking about. Seriously you guys, congratulations.
We left camp Sunday morning at 10 am, and went down to Oceanside to see my family for my birthday. What did my family get me? A pod. A giant, 55 pound, pod. I don't really know how to explain any further than that...my parents just found it hilarious and kept making "Invasion Of The Body Snatchers" references. I don't know what tree they got it from, nor why it was so funny...*sigh*...my parents.
We didn't pull into Sacramento until 10, meaning we wouldn't get back to Roseburg until 6:30, and I had to be at work at 9. However, it was incredible. Jeff and I listened to the new Ben Lee album probably 12 times thru, each time singing louder and louder. We also have a rough cut of Ryan Sharp's new Cobalt Season CD. Oh gosh, that guy is amazing. He sang at Jay-hova's wedding, as well as serenaded Amanda down the aisle. And on a side note, besides being a great musician, when his portrait is painted, he looks suspiciously like Bruce Willis. So yeah, we made it safe.
I'm tired. So, rather than going into detail about other happenings in my life, I will vaguely summarize.
I may or may not have...
...Stolen my friend's car to house a deer carcass in the back seat to transport it to our front yard, name it Walter, and amuse our room mates.
...Information to Gary the Nutria's whereabouts
...received a pod for my birthday
...pretended I was The Transporter* for a majority of our driving trip

I think that's all. Sorry this post was lame.

*The new movie sucked

It's Not A Love Song

2005-09-07T11:55:00.000-07:00

Back in Roseburg, Oregon. I've been here about two weeks now, and once again my good friend Hannah hooked me up with a job. Once again with Comspan, but this time I am working with her at the cellular store.
Suffice to say, I now have regular access to the internet and should be able to update more often.
Perhaps I will share the story of Gary and Walter.

Down With Brickianity

2005-08-19T19:34:00.000-07:00

Transitioning sucks. Jeff and I were told we had 24 hours to be completely moved out of our apartment the other day. So, we sucked it up and worked super hard to get everything out, vaccuum, try to remove the lyrics we wrote on the walls, you know the usual. Unfortunately, we didn't have room for a lot of stuff, and had to throw alot away. One of those, being my bed.
Oh gosh, I love my bed. An old, rickety bed that takes about 25 seconds to assemble. And now, it's gone. We gave our couches, the bed, our table, computer desk, two reclining chairs, and probably other things to our neighbors, who were very appreciative. So appreciative, in fact, that one of them gave me some pot.
Yup.
He went to "shake my hand", and put something in my palm, then walked away. I opened my hand, and there it was.
A little ball of pot.
Jeff and I left it on the coffee table and laughed about it, and we think our cat ate it
----I now digress to clarify two points----
1) Jeff and I had NO intention of smoking it. We laughed about it, set it down, forgot about it, and it's gone
2) No, the pot did not affect our kitten, as it has to be heated to release the THC that gets you "high". So animal lovers, our neglect did not loose the morals of our pseudo-offspring.

And so now, Jeff and I are crashing at Stacey's, with all of our crap in her living room. There is scarce room to even move around. So, Jeff and I just play Xbox all day long while she is at work. It sounds great, but after a summer of round the clock activities, I think I am going out of my mind having nothing to do until my move.
When I can get a job, and start an income.
And get Wamu to stop harassing me.
And buy a new bed.
Velvet Elvis is amazing.
Later everyone.

Welcome Home

2005-08-12T03:28:00.000-07:00

Ok, it's 3:30 am and I've been driving all day, and thus have no idea what I am going to write about. What I do know is this...the new Coheed and Cambria album "IV" sounds incredible, there is a new song on both Myspace or at coheedandcambria.com, called "Welcome Home". Check it out. I would put the link up, but it appears Blogger is having problems with its html right now; I can't even italicize! Oh well, the new video premiers August 12. *chills run down spine*
Anyways.
Camp is over. It really flew by, and I gotta say it's a big change being back down the mountain in the "real world". This Sunday I won't be reporting back to camp, scanning the cabin lists (of which I was never assigned a ridge nor tent frame...yes...), and waiting for the new shipment of campers on Monday morning as we all sit and sweat together at the picnic tables waiting for our names to be called. I'm fairly sure that was a run on sentence, but you get the point.
I came to camp only knowing Jeff and Stacey, and came away with a lot more.
Alot of friends were made, alot of things were learned, and alot of ice cream sandwiches were handed out in Heaven. I am apologizing in advance to whoever happens to read my upcoming posts, because I'm sure for the next little while I will have nothing else to talk about other than random memories of the past summer. For now, I am going to get some sleep...in my own bed.

The Sad Trap Of Gravity...

2005-07-22T13:51:00.000-07:00

It's been a pretty crazy week. Spent the first half in Oceanside on the beach, and now I am back in Sacramento, a horrible, horrible place. But with the people I'm with, still having a pretty good time. SOMEBODY was claiming I don't update my blog enough. So, this is to that person. Tom from Myspace is really ticking me off, he needs to get his stuff together and let me log in. Apparently "be back shortly" means "whenever I get around to it". Well, that's it for now. Camp begins on Monday. Yee-uh.

A Good Woman Will Pick You Apart...

2005-07-09T14:26:00.000-07:00

Yup. Week 3 of camp was amazing! It was all high schoolers, and somehow I ended up with all the musicians. Four of them brough guitars, and I actually learned alot playing with them in our free time (I can now play an F chord). Mike (one of my campers) and I even wrote a song together. It has no name, you just name it after whichever girl you are playing it for at the time. Yes, it just might be the most romantic song ever written....by us.

This week, I also had a camper named Joseph Smith. He was crazy, and I still have these flashbacks of him running around in camo and his yellow banana. Joseph Smith was not a musician, but I do believe him to be a prophet.

I also came down with what I am sure is malaria. Along with symptoms of Ebola, Mono, and a loss of bone marrow. Brittany gave me some "medicine" that is probably the same thing the Indians took when they went on their spiritual journeys. She took me on a wild car ride down the mountain and back, as I slipped in and out of consciousness, waking to her picking flowers on the side of the mountain road (weird), washing her car, stopping for I have no idea what, and finally ending back at camp. Don't ever take medicine from Brittany. Ever.

Um...yeah. Great week, horrifically sick, but feeling much better today. The wide selection of breakfast foods (snickerdoodles and yogurt) is probably all that is keeping me alive. Next week is 260 junior highers.

I'll probably become addicted to Brittany's pills.

Later!

If You Walk Away, I'll Walk Away...

2005-07-03T00:46:00.000-07:00

Real quick. Camp has been great the past couple weeks. Not consistently great, no, not in the least. By great I mean all in all. Last week was insane, to say the least. When I have some more time and Brittany isn't snarling at me behind my back as I type, I will go into more detail. The kids are all amazing, tho some have really been trying my patience. Living on the mountain is great fun, and for the first time in years I am excersizing on a regular basis (tho not always at will).

Well, upon realizing I have absolutely nothing intellegent to say, I am going to end this post now.

You Will, You Will, You Will, You Will...

2005-06-17T08:52:00.000-07:00

So last night, I grabbed a ride and I am now back in Oceanside with my family. Good stuff. I don't think I could be any more excited about camp starting. The people I've met and the relationships that I've already began are amazing, and it's good to know that when I need it, I can go to so many different people for help and they will be there for me. The food is good, I get to live in the mountains, and sometimes girls even talk to me!

The other night for my new friend Lee's birthday, I took the "milk challenge". Now, it is humanly impossible to drink a whole gallon of milk in one hour without throwing up. I drank the gallon in 36 minutes. I threw up 9 times during it. Good times. Such is the man that will be a counselor of youth this summer...*sigh*...ever feel inadequate at the tasks God has set before you? Well my gosh. I can barely put my pants on by myself, let alone be in such an important point of leadership. But it's like I said before, I have such a great supporting cast in my fellow counselors, the elder staff and even you program kids that it all makes it a bit more bearable.

Well, I'm out for now. I finally have internet, and you know I gotta check the myspace.

You Are The Roots That Sleep Beneath My Feet

2005-06-03T20:21:00.000-07:00

Update.
I have been offered a position working as a counselor at the same camp Jeff is going to this summer. Working with all the high school kids is going to be awesome. I just found out about this a couple days ago, and had to email my boss letting him know I would only be able to work a couple of more days.
That's right...I emailed him.
I show up to work last night, and he pulls me out back. Apparently, he is less than thrilled. So, I was fired.
Fired two days before I was to quit. That's awesome.
So I leave for San Bernadino on Sunday, and begin my summer job. I'm seriously stoked about it, and will keep updating to let you know how it all goes.

Not much else to say, Oregon was a blast (as always). Nutrea heart attacks, Project I.S. inductions, and the "proper way to throw up the west side", in addition to weddings, catching gaurters, and realizing how out of shape we all are playing basketball.
Good times.
All Oregon buddies, I love and miss you all already and hope to be back soon (shooting for August).

Later

I'd Prefer To Be Remembered, As A Smiling Face...

2005-05-24T14:17:00.000-07:00

Slightly freaking out.
Since Jeff is leaving for (basically) summer, I have to quit my job since I no longer have a ride.
There really aren't too many options within walking distance here, and in addition there is a lot of time I will need off this summer. Every month I have a little something going on...birthdays, weddings, and what have you. I can't go back to San Diego tho - that was my starting point! With nothing to show, I'll never go back If I can help it.
Ok. Just talked to Amber, and she calmed me down a bit. But still - ever just sit back and wonder what the heck am I doing here to yourself? I guess when nothing goes as planned, is when you just have to work harder.

Enh.

Oh, by the way, befriend me at myspace!

Calouses are progress charts

So I Laughed Until It Didn't Hurt

2005-05-15T22:39:00.000-07:00

Friday night. Oakland, California. My first time seeing Mates of State, fifth time seeing Taking Back Sunday, and third time seeing Jimmy Eat World. Amazing night of performances...don't front on Mates of State!!! Download "Abercrombie" and see what I mean.

Jeff has been out of town with his girlfriend this past weekend; it's been nice having the apartment all to myself. Just me, hanging out with the cat.

I have just been informed of some changes in plans...Jeff now might be going to the camp I spoke of previously, which leaves a lot of room for possibilites on my part. He will still be paying his part of the rent, and so the apartment is still ours. So...anybody out there who wants to take a little vacation to Sac-town is more than welcome to come stay for a few days, provided you help out with groceries and such.

I will be (hopefully) recording thru the week, and have some stuff up so you can listen to it.
I am starting a new blog devoted entirely to my music...check it out here. There's not much there yet, but leave me a comment or suggestion, or maybe an old Mexican adage...whatever's on your mind.

That's about all for now. Big things coming, people. You have no idea...stay tuned.

Song of the week: The Good Life - Album of the Year/Night and Day (yeah, it's a tie)

No One Ever Plans To Sleep Out In The Gutter...

2005-05-07T13:24:00.000-07:00

Things have been going well lately. Work hasn't been too bad, our apartment is now furnished, and I had some friends come visit me this past week (Brett, Jenae, Ashley for those who know them).
They drove up from Oceanside to go to San Francisco with me to see a concert. Her Space Holiday, The Faint, and Bright Eyes. Wow. The show was so amazing, I am going to drive all the way down to San Diego next month and catch it again. I suggest all of you go see a show...the remaining dates can be found here.

As far as musical updates, Jeff's CD has been getting pretty decent feedback, and he has been playing some of the local coffee shops here. We've met some pretty cool people, most of the artists we've seen playing are very talented, with a lot of folk music mainly.

I have been writing a lot lately, and am somewhat pleased with it for the most part. For those of you who know me personally, that's saying a lot - I hate my music. I plan to record some stuff pretty soon here ( nothing fancy), just to give an idea of what I'm going for and get some feedback. If I could find the fundings for a Mac, I'd be set. I could do all the recording and instrumentation that I need with one of those. So...if anybody knows where I can get a good deal on a G4 Mac Laptop/ibook you let me know. Take care everybody.

I've got a little sister, who's growing up so quick
How can she be aging, when I still feel like I'm a kid?
I try to set examples, to outline all her steps
If I walk in bad company, she'll get lost in the tread

I'd Rather Be Working For a Paycheck, Then Waiting For the Lottery

2005-04-26T16:07:00.000-07:00

My parents came to visit me this weekend. It was a lot of fun, hadn't seen them in a couple months. My sister was able to come too, which was awesome. I still can't believe she's 15 and in high school! Oh well, at least she's not so much into boys as she is listening to amazing music. Good kid...
Speaking of girls/boys, let's take a moment to discuss my game.
People, I'm about as smooth as sandpaper. A very pretty girl came into work the other day and ordered two slices of pizza to go. I smiled, got her pizza, boxed them up, and handed them to her, told her to have a nice day, and noticed her smiling somewhat oddly back at me.
"Oh, yeah...uh...that will be $5.60 please." Nice Cody! You forgot to charge her.
We have a new girl at work. Before I even had a chance to introduce myself, I dropped a box of cleaning supplies off the top shelf onto her. She hasn't spoken to me since. Last summer I threw a girl that I was dating over my shoulder, ran across the parking lot to my car (in an attempt that this would somehow be cute?), tripped, and dropped her. And people wonder why I'm a musician...
But, I digress.
Jeff's parents also came from the opposite direction to visit, and our parents all had a great time lecturing us and trying to cajole us into playing our music for them. We didn't but we did accept the couches they brought for us. We finally have furnishing!
Our kitten, Rilo, seems to be doing well. We're currently in the process of toilet training her. How cool would that be?
Well I guess that's all for now. Also, Jeff's album is finally near! You can purchase a copy of it here. Please check it out...at least go in with a few friends and see if you like it.
Later!

I'm Wide Awake, It's Morning

2005-04-19T14:53:00.000-07:00

Hey all. Sorry it's been so long...it's been crazy lately. We didn't get the internet hooked up at the apartment until just yesterday.
I'm working at Z Pizza, which is pretty cool. The crew there is mainly high school kids, and making pizza is kind of fun. It's more of a pizzeria feel than like a Domino's or anything else, with a dining area, music and everything. Jeff and I feel obligated to force our musical bias and views onto co-workers and customers alike with online radio (a beautiful thing).
Jenae is most likely going to coming up here to visit soon, to go to the Bright Eyes concert over in San Francisco. I'm way excited. And, I guess it's cool Jenae is coming too ;)
The apartment is amazing. It might not actually be, but since this the first time for Jeff and I having our own place, we feel it's pretty cool. Expect pictures on here soon (I left my compact flash reader in Oregon, I have to get a new one).
And so now, I am right in the middle of my San Diego and Oregon friends. Both are welcome any time, so make a day trip and come see us!
What else? Oh, Jeff and I went to the shelter and bought a kitten today. Any suggestions for a name? I'm pretty partial to Conor.
That's all for now...later.

No Lies, Just Love

2005-04-04T01:34:00.000-07:00

So, I've been doing alot of thinking lately...Jeff and I have been talking about a lot of different things, concerning different views and stances on alot of today's problems. So in addition to my normal blogging about things that are going on with me, updates on my travels, and rants about girls, I will be posting on my new thoughts/actions.

First off -

Hungry children. Do you know the rate of chidren starving to death? I do. The thing is, I've known that for years; heard it on some late night news blurb. And I've never done anything about it. I probably changed the channel, went to bed, and ate processed food for lunch the next day. No more talking. Click here to see how you can help some of our world's less fortunate children. You don't have any money? Neither do I. The above link also shows free donation options - all it takes is for word to spread and the sponsors will help out.

Now I understand alot of people visit this blog either by clicking on links from friends of mine, or to see what random story I have to tell, and I assure you that isn't going to change a bit. But if anyone is interested in becoming more active in any facet of "outreach", send a comment with links or ideas.

What a selfish hypocrite I would be as a musician not to try and make some kind of difference.

By the way, if you're mature and smart enough to tell the difference between useless cursing and angst, listen to Bright Eyes "Let's Not S*** Ourselves (To Love and To Be Loved)".

Public Service Anouncement

2005-03-29T10:00:00.000-08:00

So, some of you may or may not have heard a rumor about me, or some of my friends. For the sake of those of you who may not have heard, I will keep this vague.
No, I am not into nor am I a part of any drug related activities. I do not use, nor sell them. The famous night at Sherm's where a black SUV threw a duffel bag out of the window, and then I ran up to retrieve it? It was a prank. There was something weird in the bag, and it was meant to "trip out" whoever walked up to it and looked inside. After the Sherm's employee found it, I ran up so that he didn't steal our "entertainment".
So somehow, the local gossip circuit of Roseburg (LGCR) has spread that it was some kind of drug deal gone wrong. No. And Jeff Wetherell wasn't even in town then, so leave him out of it altogether.

So what was in the bag? Hehehe...let's just say altho it was nothing illegal, it's nothing PETA would agree with;)

On another note, I am now in Sacramento. Details? No, I'm too lazy.

Ant Honey

2005-03-19T07:19:00.000-08:00

Let's see...
Yeah. So I saw The Ring 2 last night; read about it here. Chet needs to update his blog. And...today is making me think.
Today, I am going to a wedding; Shannon Goebel, girl I have known since the 8th grade, is getting married. It's so amazing to me how people my own age are getting married, graduating college, making all these big decisions and everything.
At the end of May, one of my best friends Anthony Stewart is getting married as well. What a mindblow! He was the first kid to befriend me back in the 9th grade, when I first transferred to UVC from DCCS (Shannon was there, but she didn't like me very much. Hehe). From there, Anthony and I were inseperable. The principal had to change our schedules so we couldn't have class together. We got kicked out of our mini-mart the second week. The guy really helped me get "out of my shell", literally forcing me to talk to (gulp) girls. One girl I liked? Melissa Shultze. She was a really pretty underclassman, and we had kind of flirted on the bus, and would talk regularly on the phone. A little while later, Anthony started telling me things. "She goes from guy to guy" he said. "She's way too young. Come on, an 8th grader?" he questioned. Eventually, I broke down. "Yeah, you're right. I'm over it".
Anthony then began dating Melissa Shultze.
And on May 29, 2005, I will be a groomsmen in the wedding of Anthony...and Melissa Shultze. Well, Anthony, if you're gonna snag a girl from me, I'm glad it worked out so well.
Oh yeah...and Melissa is pregnant. With twins. I can't believe it! Anthony Daniel Stewart, who used to tip trash cans, make prank phone calls, and get detention with daily, is getting married and having two baby girls.
Sometimes I think God just sits back, and trips out on how things intertwine, and unfold.

Best Friends Means You Get What You Deserve

2005-03-14T10:40:00.000-08:00

So, it's pretty much official. At the end of the month, I will be piling my stuff into the back of Jeff's Explorer and moving again. I don't know a thing about Sacramento, but that will make it a bit more fun. The past couple days, I've had a really odd schedule at work, so I've had a lot of time to hang out in my room, listen to music, and think about things...
-I've been really blessed along the way of me pursuing my goals in music. This is the second time in a row where I've not only been provided with a place to stay, but with one of my best friends.
-I'll have access to record all of the music I've been writing, and will write. Basically, songs about two things: girls that I think are cute, and girls that I think are stupid. But there might also be a song about dinosaurs.
-OK, basically they are all going to be stupid songs. But I might also have a chance to play them in front of people.
-Jeff and I are hoping to get bunk beds.
-It's been far too long since discussions over fajitas and beer have been bad. They do have a Chile's nearby, right?
-I Can Make A Mess Like Nobody's Business is so....good...listen.
-Sometimes, good memories hurt more than the bad ones.
So yeah, those are some of the things I have been ruminating about lately.

17 more days in Roseburg...

Best Friends Mean I Pull The Trigger

2005-03-11T14:32:00.000-08:00

Jeff called me yesterday. He calls me quite often, telling me to evaluate my options here in Roseburg . But yesterday was different. I have been offered a job, place to stay, and a position playing for him in his band. I will have access to recording music whenever I please, and have the mentoring of some people who I really look up to. In addition to sharing an apartment with Jeff and constantly writing music, I will have a chance to go on the road with him, and finally launch my side project New Life Soundtrack. The catch? I have to leave within a month.
We were close to losing the house, as I mentioned in previous posts. Pulling strings together, we are almost positive we would be able to keep it, with my good buddy Dave moving in as well. But now with me leaving, I'm afraid it might affect everyone again. I can pay them rent thru next month, so they have until May to find somebody else who can foot the rent. And if that weren't enough, I have to deal with leaving again. The existing friends I have had before I got back in town, and now coupled with the new people I have met and made such great friendships with. It's going to be tough down there, being in a major city again but this time with no car. Starting all over again with new people and a new job. The thing is, I can musically get more accomplished in a week down there, than I have in 5 months up here. And since musical opportunity is the whole reason I came up here in the first place, hopefully things work out.
Jerod and Joel have also been asked to come, and play back up for Jeff. If all works out and they decide to, I won't have to rely on my "plan b" side project and we can get a full rock band going. Oh gosh, the chills. The first time, when I left Oceanside for Roseburg I was more excited than anything, and anxious to leave. I was confident in my decision and knew I had the support of everyone. This time is a lot more sketchy and uncertain.
So for one person, we will soon be sharing an apartment. For some friends and family, I will be cutting our distance in half. For my current friends and family, I will be adding 8 hours. And to the Idaho potato girl, I will be doubling our distance.
Thoughts? Comments? Suggestions?

Juggernaut...Astronaut...Hot or Not...

2005-03-07T11:50:00.000-08:00

Oh gosh, Hotornot.com. Possibly the greatest website of our time. Want to meet someone? Want to ruin/improve someone's self esteem? Want to kill time at work? Or, my personal favorite...want to put a friend's picture up that they would probably not approve of, with keyword links they would definetly not approve of? Hotornot.com is the place to go. Now, with great power comes great responsibility (name that quote). So, here are the guidlines for surfing hotornot.com. The "meet me" section is all at your discretion...the following rules apply to the classic 1-10 scale rating only.
Standard rating for a girl is 6.
Minus 1 point for...
Guy in picture
Webcam picture
Self taken picture with camera pointed at mirror
More than one picture (we don't need a friggin' collage to tell if you're hot...or not)
Alcohol in picture (trying too hard)
Cleavage (anything above moderate, trying too hard)
Bathing suit (um...again anything above moderate, trying too hard)
Bed in picture (if suggestive)
And, my (least) favorite...
More than one person in picture, with other people crossed out and "me" with an arrow done with MS Paint...minus 2 points.
Plus point for...
Smiling
Animals
Another girl (not in a gross way...)
Musical Instrument
And then of course, 1 point for how much hotter they are than a 6.
And that's it! Easy to lose points, hard to get 'em.

Coinci-dents In My Self Made Plans

2005-03-03T13:48:00.000-08:00

Hey guys. Some pretty crazy things have been happening lately, that I may or may not go into further detail about in the future. All I do know, is that I am constantly reminded that I am not the one who is in control here. And sometimes reminders can be painful. And sometimes a kick in the butt is just what's needed when you begin to lose sight of what you are out to accomplish.
Brocktober 2004 - paid off car, over a grand in the bank, manager of full time job, free rent at home. Decide to lay it all on the line to come back to Roseburg
March 2004 - no car, 3 dollars in bank, sporadic hours at job, paying rent at home we may lose.
Kinda disrupts my whole comfort zone, huh? This was not a post of self pity, or to try and get sympathy from whoever reads this. I am just sharing some thoughts. I've been taking alot of time lately to re-evaluate the situation and see where I am and why I'm there. Expect a lot of changes to be made soon. Blog should be getting pretty interesting in the (hopefully) near future. I will keep you all posted. And seriously, give me some comments here!

An Emotional Time

2005-02-20T08:31:00.000-08:00

Have you ever met someone, and immediately you knew it was going to be special? Such a someone came into my life in March of 2002. Her name was Lindsay. Oh, the love we shared together. I had always wanted someone with that body type - 4 feet tall, black, and at just over 7 years old, I figured we had plenty of good times ahead of us.

Lindsay was a Honda Civic. Following my nameless 1990 Lexus ES250 that was lost on PCH in Encinitas, and Wild Toad, the 1986 Chevy S-10 who departed on Stewart Parkway by the YMCA in May of '01.

On February 16, 2005, Lindsay was taken from me as well.

Location: The OC, 55 North Freeway

Time: 10 am (give or take)

The Lowdown: Four car pile-up. I was number four.

*Sigh*...What can be said about Lindsay? She's taken me to nearly every concert I have ever been to. We've driven to Hollywood at 2am after work, taken trips to Oregon many times (on a busted head gasket no less!) and even to Idaho. Her reverse went out last year on a date (she was impressed, don't worry). She was dented from hitting trash cans, and would sporadically overheat when idling for too long. Her spark plug wires were loose, leaving me to fire off the line with 3 1/2 cylinders. She couldn't shift from 2nd to 3rd gear until the car was warmed up, and she had been broken into four times. Her gas gauge was broken. Her heat/cold switch had broken off, and you had to use a key. The rear speakers were blown. A firecracker went off under the seat once, and at least 3 cans of AirSoft green gas have exploded inside the car. Two side panels, and my middle console have been taken out by minor explosions in the past year. In that car, I have been pulled over, ticketed, and chased. I've been kissed, and I've had my heart broken. I've laughed, cried, kidnapped and been detained while the car was searched. I've even slept in my car when there was no place else. Good car, that Lindsay.

And - the accident was just one day of the trip. What happened before? How did I get home? Did a security guard take his pants off in front of Joel and I? I will update on that in a day or two.

Lindsay will be missed. But at least when she left, it was in the OC on a sunny day...she would have wanted it that way.

Oh Saint Can You See?

2005-02-09T17:58:00.000-08:00

Ahh...Valentine's Day. What is it? Where does it come from? Why does it make so many people happy, and others sad? Those are some of the questions going thru many a mind during the first week or so of February. I would really enjoy if Bush Sr. and ex-pres Clinton discussed these issues, but I guess we'll all have to settle on me.
Valentine's Day dates back to the Crustacean Period, when dinosaurs roamed the earth. Pterodactyls would routinely bring dead cavemen to the females, in hopes of winning her over. If done correctly, the Pterodactyl would get some action. (Now as humans, we have what I would hope to be higher standards than your average Pterodactyl. I am in no way shape or form promoting the idea that you should get your sweetheart a box of chocolates for the sole purpose of getting action. Unless of course you give your sweetheart a caveman, in which case you should at least get a minute or two of sweet smooching). No one knew what to call this ritual, so it was simply referred to as "trying to get some action" among the terrible lizzards.
It wasn't until the 1100's when St. Valentine discovered hallucinogens. Ingesting more than a few, he begain to vision naked babies with bows and arrows, shooting at people to make them fall in love, and what followed was a beautiful depiction of eternal love. Waking up from his stupor, he tried hard to explain to his constituents the happenings of his dream, but couldn't remember the details of why the babies were naked, or operating war weapons without parental supervision. So he lied, bought a box of chocolate, and tried to get some action. This was on February 14, 1100.
So here we are, some odd years later, and we have no clue what is going on. "The Man" bought the rights to Valentine's Day back during the French-Indian War, and has changed the whole concept around. But he kept the naked babies around. The sicko.
So do you have a sweetheart? Maybe you don't. Who cares! Think about it. All the candy you can buy the day after for a fraction of the price. Then you can stockpile it until next year in case you have one then (if s/he really loves you, they won't mind that it's stale).
And if you do? Do something nice! Picnics are always great. Along with candy, hugs, canoodeling, renting cheesy movies, and the occasional caveman. Oh, and if it's all in the name of getting action, you're missing the point, pervert.
Still don't believe me when I say it's cool not to have a sweetie? Here's what I did last year. I went to a restaurant with my buddy and asked to be seated for four. As the waitresses kept coming by, we kept checking our voicemail, and the time, saying "they should be here any minute". Every waitress there was sympathetic and could be heard talking about us. "Poor guys" they would say. Eventually the customers heard about it and were sorry for us, too. We had the waitress call other restaurants of the same name in the area, to see if there were any girls waiting. Nope. We even had our friend Jenae come in and sit down, hand me a note, and say "She wanted me to give you this - I'm sorry". Then we left. Needless to say, they didn't charge us for our drinks.
So see? Whether you're in for a night of canoodeling, or making people feel more sorry for you than they should just for your amusement, you can have an enjoyable evening. And then some people are away from the people they wish they could they could be with. In that case, you can just send the cavemen FedEx.

How do you make a hankey dance? Put a boogey in it!

2005-02-05T20:51:00.000-08:00

Whoo....so, you want to know about Boogeyman, enh? Fine.
A quick synopsis -
Matt Campden of Seventh Heaven plays...well I forget what his name is in the movie. But it's the same guy. Anyways, when he was eight years old he "witnessed" an encounter with the Boogeyman, and has been traumatized since. Psychologists all tell him it's a supressed figment of his imagination stemming from his father leaving them around the same time. Who knows...
And so, something (you will have to watch) brings him back the house where he grew up, and (surprise) he has to stay the night there. Thus, it goes down.
Is it worth seeing? Yes. An hour and 26 minutes of cheap shots tho, so if crap popping up scares you, you will have a horrible time (as did I). Not the best written script, but executed very well. The characters lack cohesiveness, but his girfriend is kinda hot. Lots of loose ends that didn't seem to be tied in (pun intended). Overall, a pretty decent movie. I enjoyed it far more than last week's Hide and Seek. The Ring 2's trailor was better than that movie alltogether.
I'd give it...20 whiskers out of 25.
L8R QT's!

Announcement

2005-02-03T08:41:00.000-08:00

Couple of news bits to report. Apparently, our mortal enemies known as "terrorists" had reported that they had held another captive. Pretty common, right? Well, this "captive" was found to be only a doll. The toymaker who made the doll, said that it was called "Special Op Cody". Wow.
And in other news, you know Joel? My friend??? WhoIwenttohighschoolwith?!?!? Well him and I...he and I...the king and I...anyways we started our own blog. A one stop source for reviews, movie quotes, upcoming artists, ninja facts, and music news. Plus, you're sure to get random rants, puns, and ruminations from 2/3 of the masterminds who brought you "Pinkeye". Jay-Z would think this blog is dope. Usher would tell his boo about it. And you should read it.
"How do I get access to this?!?!" you may be asking yourself. Well it's simple. And it's free. You can see it here, or by clicking on the "Joel and I" link here on the page.
ALSO...(and this is big). Questions? Comments? Concerns? Those can be directed to us at joelandcody@hotmail.com
That's right! Need relationship advice? Want to know if a certain movie is good? Got a new band to share? Or if you just want to say hi...we are here for you!
I will still be posting my personal things here on this blog on a regular basis. Keep checking back. Love you all!

By the way, did I mention how good the new Anberlin album is? Well it is. And for those lacking trivia, Jeff Wetherell is the last 1/3 of "Pinkeye". The guy's amazing, and is recording right now! Be sure to at least check out his blog! It's so cool, P. Diddy made a remix!

You Hung Up On My Face

2005-01-31T16:19:00.000-08:00

Hey...it's been a while. I got sent home from work early today, so I am now listening to Bright Eyes. Today, I bought a Mountain Dew for Amber and I, and realized there was a promotion going on. And so, I opened them both to be sure I didn't give her a winning bottle cap. I kept the winner. Turns out I won a free download from Itunes. That's funny...I get them free from Ares all the time. Nice try, Lars. Ahh..and now I am listening to my wedding song. Glad I'm off early. We got a new girl at work today. She looks like Claudio from Coheed and Cambria...no joke. If Claudio was a red headed 22 year old who tells me what to do on her 2nd day of work, to which I tell her "You're not the boss of me". I said it jokingly...but she doesn't like me.
Do you ever stop to re-examine who are? I do. I'm doing it right now.
I am 21. I used to listen to strictly hip hop, but then rap starting sucking very badly. Now I listen to bands with three words in their name, and song titles like "I Never Knew That Knowing You Would Help Me Know That I Don't Really Need You (At All)". I get my eggs over easy, and I only eat the yolk. I hate tomatoes. "Thirteen" was a movie that disturbed me. I enjoy a nice pair of slacks. My room is pink. I love oldies more than you do. I sing in the shower, I've been in the back of a squad car at least 6 times (misunderstandings mostly). I'm a snob about music. I wear braces. I hate myspace accounts, and I love pizza. I think Mark Twain looks like the grandpa from Boondock Saints.I have a myspace account. I am the least photogenic person ever. The only shows I watch are The OC, American Idol, and Simple Life. They are glorious. My car does not go in reverse. I bet the Barenaked Ladies are more talented than your favorite band. When I miss a shot in pool, I chalk my stick like that was the problem. I often trip over nothing and lose balance. And...I am an inventor.
Updates: Be sure to go out and buy the new Anberlin album tomorrow! Also, American Idol is on again tomorrow night. "Hide and Seek" isn't as scary as you would expect. I'll let you know how "Boogeyman" is when I see it tho...wow.
Here is the thought question for you all tho - if you were stranded on a desert island with one album..what would it be and why? My choice is Brand New - Deja Entendu. Mellow enough for background music, but perfect enough to listen to every single day.

Ron Burgondy Says "No!"

2005-01-21T09:55:00.000-08:00

You know Samaire Armstrong? She plays Anna, from the OC? You know Lindsay Lohan? She's on every magazine? Well, they're in an as of yet untitled romantic comedy coming out soon. Apparently Lindsay is the luckiest girl alive, and meets the un-luckiest boy alive. Oh the plot! And Samaire plays her singer/songwriter best friend. That is the update.

Yesterday was quite the day. For those of you don't know, I work for ComSpan. We offer home phone, cell phone, dial-up, and DSL services.
On January 20, 2004, I had one of the best days of my life. It was my friend Andrew's 20th birthday. To celebrate, Andrew, his girlfriend Jenae, myself, and Jenae's friend Amber (a very pretty girl who was visiting) went to Disneyland. I hadn't had that much fun in a long time, nor do I expect to for a while. The Lord smiled down on me that day.
On January 20, 2005, God had a sense of humor. ComSpan's internet went down. For San Diego, imagine if Cox went down. That's what happened. And I, as the receptionist, was forced to answer every call that came in and calm ever single person down. I learned alot that day -
Everything is my fault
I should have omniscience and know when the lines will be back up
I should be more considerate, and let (customer) know before lines go down next time

...Because yes, we plan ahead to upset you.

Hannah made the mistake of bringing a friend to the house last night. An unsuspecting girl, with Joel, Jerod and I. On "The OC" night. Melissa - if you're reading this, we just get very passionate about our show...that's all. But come on Marissa what is your problem?!?!? Line of the week, goes to Seth Cohen - "I'm just gonna go find a new girl to walk all over me..." I hear you, buddy. My advice? Get a one way ticket to Pittsburgh.

I don't have a whole lot to share today, so that's all for now. Something to ponder...ever wish you lived in New Jersey?

www.thebamboozle.com check out that line-up. Anberlin, Relient K...good to see you guys getting some exposure! New Anberlin album comes out February 1. Check them out on purevolume if you don't believe how much these guys have grown.

And yes, I will gladly unscrew any and all nuts and bolts on swivel chairs for your convenience and my practical jokes. I love you all. Happy birthday, Sara. Feel better

Wow

2005-01-18T15:47:00.000-08:00

It's way too soon for you kids to get another post. But here is something I just had to share this with you. Apparently the military wants to use more "non lethal" methods.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/6835214/

"Hey Umsaf, poot down thhat AK-47....jyes...slow like thaht....hnow cohm heehr...hI am goink to kees you"

A Day In The Life

2005-01-17T17:01:00.000-08:00

7:08 am...alarm goes off. "Snooze sleep"causes me to have strange dream where I steal a tire iron and lie about it.
7:16 am...roll out of bed. Throw on slacks, shirt, go upstairs to brush teeth and straighten hair.
7:45 am...arrive at work. Check email. Come up with cool melody.
7:50 am...drink Mountain Dew. Forget melody. Realize none of my bands have updated their website/journals.
8 am...first calls begin. "This guy is obviously a moron" I think. Answer. He just wanted some pricing on our services, so I transfer him. "Moron" I think to myself.
9 am...Amber arrives and complains about something. I am listening to Launch Radio and "tune" her out. hahah!!!! "tune"! haha!
9:35 am...send Amber a picture of a pygmie. Check email.
11:15 am...resume from time warp and wonder what I have been doing for 2 hours...talking to Jenae I guess. Decide "Jenae" is French for "confusing".
11:38 am...decide an early lunch is in order
11:40-12:40 pm...woke up Jerod, went to Taco Bell. I made him push my car into a space, and he cut his hand on my bumper and made a funny face. Ate tacos and drank more Mountain Dew.
12:45 pm...come back to my desk and make as much noise as possible sitting down again, until I have everybody's attention on the floor. Check email.
1 pm...check email. Wish I could send a pygmie a picture of Amber. You know, mix it up.
2 pm...email Governor Arnold Schwarzennegger a "thank you" email for his politics, and for making the movie "Commando". Then I told him to look for a skinny goofy kid in his biography movie coming out on A&E. I am not making this up.
3pm...Wondering why Avenged Sevenfold is on my emo radio station, I make Amber buy me a Mountain Dew.
3:11 pm...sing 311's "Amber". Well, actually just the "who-oah" part. A lot. Every single Amber I've ever met hates that song...both of them.
3:18 pm...get excited that Hot Rod Circuit's "The Pharmacist" is on. Decide to speak in ebonics for the rest of the hour. These hata'z on tha flo' wit me ain't feelin' it so far...
4 pm...wonder if Arnold got my email. Check mine, in case he replied. He didn't. That's wack.
4:15 pm...I have taken 104 calls and been on the phone for 54:15. So I have said "Thank you for calling ComSpan, your local phone provider. My name is Cody - how may I direct your call?" 104 times so far.
4:20 pm...realize I should be the one picking music for Launch Radio. The guy who does it right now is a tool. I think it's Dave Matthews. Or the T-Mobile guy.
4:34 pm...Amber announces for the 27th time "Oooh! I almost had that one!". Amber...you haven't beat the Windows version of solitaire yet? Come on...I'm almost about to loosen the screws on your swivel chair when you're not looking. Moron.
4:40 pm...Amber goes to the restroom for the 27th time. I check my email for the...27th time. And for the 27th time, the only person who cared enough to write me was...me. I forwarded some stuff over from another address.
4:45...wow. Gay guy who works here informs me he is an alcoholic. I mean, coulda lead up to it a bit...just came right out. I wasn't sure if I should "Yeah, it's tough" and sympathise, or come up with a funky beat and synthesize. "Bill you're gay, you've got a mustache, and you're an alcoholic/ You spend your paycheck on men and cheap booze, there's no money in your wallet"
5 pm...off work. And thus, my second life begins. My job is so hard!

Love you all!

On 1/12, there was 211

2005-01-13T10:26:00.000-08:00

...but that's another story.

This will be awkward. So...Jeff, one of my best friends, lives in Sacramento. His girlfriend, an awesome girl named Stacey, lives in Sacramento. Jeff, has asked two of my other best friends, Jerod and Joel, to come to Sacramento to help with worship. During this "Sacramento-fest", Straylight Run and Something Corporate will be in...yup. Sacramento. And I live in lame Oregon. Apparently, an "Oregon is lame so don't come near here, not even N. Cali, Washington, or Idaho" newsletter was sent out to the bands. And they obliged, not to come to any of these locations I would be willing to drive to. Sacramento. Eight hours away, on a weekday. This is not a euphanism in the least...I feel like crying. I have seen Something Corporate 5 times, and each time was a special memory for me. And as for Straylight Run. Oh, man. Living proof of a blessing in disguise. In May of 2003, my girlfriend at the time broke up with me. In May of 2003, Taking Back Sunday broke up. From the girlfriend, was birthed a complete turnaround for me. It helped me find myself, brought me closer to God, I met other girls, and developed a new writing style for music. From TBS, came Straylight Run - which is much more important than personal growth. (Like I'd really grown all that much...I got back with her soon thereafter). So, in place of my screaming off key to you guys (as if you could hear me, let alone know I existed) in person, I offer a personal note to each of you...*tears*
To Whichever Band Is Opening- "This is the godfather. No offense, but you are having coffee and pie, with a living legend."
To Something Corporate -
Clutch...you are in idiot. I love your hair, your sunglasses - take the bassline for a walk buddy
Josh...Will is not in the band anymore, you must carry it alone. And you can...you are amazing (that rift for Punk Rock Princess? Who are you?!?!)
Brian...smack the drums really hard for me
Andrew...you will be barefoot. You will make a few hundred kids sound beautiful singing "Konstantine" (which is a-friggin-mazing live, Jeff. Don't base it on that recording you have on your comp. It will kill you). You will stomp on your sticker-covered piano I have seen so many times. You will climb on the speakers, you will put random rap lyrics into the bridges of your songs (Jay-Z and OutKast are your faves), and you will say the "f" word for no reason when you get excited.
To Straylight Run-
Will Noon...your hair is out of control. I think you also have an afro for a beard. I'm sorry about Breaking Pangaea, but it's "for the best" (pun heavily intended...I love that song)
Shaun Cooper...you are the x factor. Your timing coming to TBS was perfect...the switching from Jesse Lacey* to Adam on bass, and then you coming in which moved Adam to lead vocals ahead of Antonio (who left). Who would have known? I was so sad to see you go, but you are amazing with the new band.
Michelle Nolan...no, I will not propose to you right now, but I thought about it. Your vocals are mesmorizing, oh the undertones on the "Tell All Your Friends" album, with your appearances on "Ghost Man On Third" and "Bike Scene"...thank you for doing this.
John Nolan. Wow. Your singing and songwriting both have influenced and inspired me. You are one of the only artists who can bring me close to tears (Death Cab, Beatles, and Straylight), your melodies are on par with Ben Gibbard, and I admire the way you answer post-TBS questions in interviews. Keep your Christian faith strong (you and your sister, get the other guys saved) and watch how God is/has/will bless(ed/ing) you and your band. You are amazing, John Nolan. You make Ghandi look like a child pornographer.

And...that's it. Just something I had to do. Had to get it out there. To anyone who lives near where the band is playing....lucky!

*Yup, that's right. Jesse Lacey was the original bassist for Taking Back Sunday. Then his girlfriend cheated on him with Mr. John Nolan (John, you dog...) and obviously quit the band to start his own...Brand New. The song "Seventy Times 7" is about that situation..."No I In Team" is TBS' rebuttal. And that, my friends, is why there are shared lyrics in both songs. They had been working on a song with those lyrics, and they both picked them. Bet you didn't know that! Another time I will explain in detail the BN/TBS/SR love hate triangle.

"You've Got Red On You"

2005-01-11T13:11:00.000-08:00

The date is 1/11. I hope you've been praying and wishing all day long, and I pray and wish your prayers and wishes come true, unless they conflict with my prayers or wishes.

So, I decided something. Perhaps we (guys) are too hard on girls. I mean this with all respect, and zero sarcasm...it's not their fault they are so insonsiderate. Oh? Proof? Explanation? Read on...(Mom, show this to Dad and see what he thinks)

When I walk from the office to my car, I have to cross a crosswalk with no electronic "walk/don't walk" signals. As I stand on the corner, waiting to walk across, there is a stop sign to the right of me, waiting to turn left onto a one-way street that has NO stop sign (follow?). What this means is, they must make sure there is NO traffic before they turn, since nobody else stops. Now...when there is a MALE driver, he will look for traffic, notice me waiting, and give me the "wave" to cross. When there is a FEMALE driver, she will look for traffic (most of the time), notice me waiting, and turn right in front of me. I used to get mad and make sexist comments, then I realized something...they just look at the situation differently. See, the MALE has the problem at hand of "turning left". However when he sees me, he looks one step ahead and adds "this guy is standing on the corner. He needs to cross". The FEMALE registers the same scenario as "this guy is standing on the corner. Therefore, it's safe to turn". I test this every day, and this works (no kidding) 80% of the time. I no longer get upset, I practically expect it. Just think - if this is how a female's mind works...how will they handle other situations? Their logic is COMPLETELY DIFFERENT from ours, fellas. So yeah...breakthrough.
I got my haircut. Yup...couple inches. I cut it because I was supposed to go to a club last Saturday night. Unfortunately, it started raining there was a leak in heaven, so we didn't get to go. Sorry, ladies. Next time perhaps.
Things have actually been pretty good here lately. Soon I might actually make some money, and I have been coming up with some of the best stuff I've ever written. Like, ever.
By the way, I have the best Launch radio station. Like, ever.
And finally, comment on my blog. I see a lot of people read it. But nobody comments on it. Like, hardly ever.

The Blue Channel

2005-01-06T15:56:00.000-08:00

Payday is coming up for alot of us. So if you feel led, and are able...help out how you can. Just go to the site above (musicforrelief.org) to find out how.

Anyways, hey. Don't have much to say today...(sweet! "The Boy Who Blocked His Own Shot" just came on!). If you don't know that song, then you're a tool.
I'm at work, and things are basically the same. I think I'm getting a haircut this weekend, which is a good thing. It's starting to look like a raccoon is making love to the back of my neck, something I can not tolerate any longer.
Today during lunch, I made friends with a stray cat, and ate some hot dogs. Then I took a picture of a squirrel with my phone.
I've been spreading conspiracy theories all over the office. Since I am sick, I note that I am the only one who drinks from the water cooler. I often badger people with "Now did we really go to the moon" questions, and ask input on naming emus. I sent a picture of Kim Jong Ill down to the sales team today, and I think they got confused.

I hope what I've heard isn't close to the truth ...and if it is, then I hope you die as lonely as I'll try to live from here on out. And when we meet when life is finished, maybe then we can be the friends you've always wanted...'cause God is more forgiving than I could ever be. Don't be such a stereotype. Don't let this low budget movie end with the same recycled closing scene. I expected it from her, but not so much from you...

Sorry...that was the ninja in me expressing something. This next week, hug one person you normally don't, listen to better music, and give me a name for my emu.

And if nothing else, be sure to check out my buddy Chet's blog....
http://www.chetthomas.blogspot.com
he's the man!

Ivory...Lines Mean...Whoa-ohh....Whoa-ohhhh...

2004-12-31T08:31:00.000-08:00

Look at me! It's not even eight a.m. yet and I'm already at work! Have been for 15 minutes! "If you're not early, you're late". That's always been my motto...not really. Just like showing up early to make sure there's no surprises.
So. This Amber girl. Turns out she's actually pretty cool. Unfortunately, she finds pirates more awesome than ninjas, so I don't forsee much of a future as "friends" with her. We're co-workers. And she'll be lucky if I stop stealing her stuff. I am looking forward to another day here at the office...a day spent listening to Launch internet radio, defending my castle, and lending my expertise of hot chicks on hotornot.com - and answering the phone, too.
It's New Year's Eve! Anybody else gonna be singing Death Cab For Cutie all day and night? I know I am...'cause "I don't feel any different". I have already been dared to kiss somebody at the stroke of midnight (no it's not a boy) . But I think I will have to decline that dare to a later time - I might just be going to the Feathers of Seven (as I like to call it) Casino. Gonna be a party down there, man. And you know you can't have a party without Cody and Joel.
Woke up with a sore throat yesterday morning...and...it still hurts. I tell you, Oregon doesn't play around with the sore throats. A California nuisance...but here they floor you. I think my adenoids are going to burst. Can't complain tho - I hear that in Idaho when you get a sore throat, they quarantine you in a horse stable.
Oh! Breakthrough! One of the girls who works with me here in the office just asked if I "wanted some coffee". Yes! I fit in! Crap! Somebody just called in, and my Hall's lozenge got stuck on the side of my braces and I ended up sounding like I had Down Syndrome. And...they hung up.
Well in either case, have a safe and happy New Year's Eve/New Year's. A redundant holiday where everybody sets these noble new year's resolutions, but not before they drink so much that you get the p's. The p's? Peeing and Puking. Sometimes at the same time. What a way to kick off "turning over the new leaf".
"I'm gonna tithe more dilligently!"...takes a shot of cheap vodka
"I'm gonna stop sleeping around!" ...wakes up hungover with a stranger
Come on people. Garden State is out, so just go buy it or rent it and enjoy. There is a fair amount of profanity, and an unnecessary scene of people gettin' it on...but it's beautiful (the movie, not the scene of people gettin' it on)
Thought question - if person A's roomate (person B) doesn't know that you (person C) exist, person A probably doesn't give a crap about person C, do they?
And on that note, I'm out!

I Wish The World Was Flat Like The Old Days...

2004-12-27T16:43:00.000-08:00

Me too, Ben. Me too.
Anyways. So I finally got a job. And no, it's not at IHOP. I am now a receptionist. Oh, how proud my dad must be. I wear capris, have long hair, don't get girls, and now I'm a receptionist. But yeah, I am. I answer phones and direct the caller where they need to be. Thing is, I have been working since last Wednesday and have yet to do any work. I just sit in my cubicle and stare at my screen, waiting for the "go ahead" to receive calls. Apparently since this position has only existed...since Wednesday...they don't know what they're doing either. I'm afraid they're just going to end up laying me off, or making me do chick work like making coffee or filing. My fears grew worse today, when they had me leave my desk, and do some filing.
I saw my class last night. UVC class of 2001 baby. Two girls didn't even look at me much less care to see how I was doing. One girl who I was very close with gave me a hug, then apparently suffered a stroke and just sat on the ground for the next three hours talking to other people. Some of them did seem really happy to see me for the first time in 3 1/2 years. Firm handshakes are special. They started the evening playing "Catch Phrase" while me and Jerod stood against the wall debating what would happen if ninjas and pirates had to fight each other. After a game was over, I asked for everybody's attention and politely asked who they thought was cooler, ninjas or pirates. Some answered me, but most of them just looked at me like it was the most retarded question ever. I mean come on you guys are 22 years old and were just playing Catch Phrase! So Jerod and I just ate all their sandwiches. Then the girls went to one room to talk about (I'm guessing) child birth, while the guys told old stories. It sucks when everyone is laughing having a good time, then me or Jerod tell a story and everyone just stops...and we get this "I can't believe you did that" look. Well, we did. And it was funny.
I hate my class.
This morning I was straightening my hair. I grabbed a big mess of hair, and was ready to clamp it into my sexy man hairstyle that I have, and I clamped my ear. Like, half of my left ear was clamped by the friggin' straightener. I welled up with manly tears, said some manly words, and went on straightening like nothing happened. That's how manly I am.
The only other receptionist in the office is this girl named Amber who is smarter than I am. Plus she already knows everybody in the office. I see her as a serious threat. She sits across from me and we're supposed to be some kind of "team". The thing is, I don't really see myself as a "receptionist" anymore. I have spent the past couple days referring to myself as Cody: The Receptor. So far it hasn't caught on...and I think Amber is the reason why - she's cramping my style. We'll see how smart she is when I start stealing office supplies from her. Stuff she needs, too. Like her pen, mousepad, monitor, crap like that. I am also fond of sending pictures of sheep to people around the office. I don't think I fit in. Later guys.

Go East On Sunrise Highway - A Long One

2004-12-21T09:48:00.000-08:00

On Saturday, Jerod and I drove up to Portland for a "Left Waiting" gig, because he was filling in as drummer for the night. It was great to finally meet all the guys I had heard so much about (they were the band that Issachar had toured with last summer). The most depressing thing happened tho - the opening band "Trace" covered Weezer's "Buddy Holly" and nobody knew it. I mean there were at least two different high school youth group's there and it was the first time any of them had heard the song. What has the world come to? My (almost) 15 year old sister has known the song sine she was like 10...I guess I just take for granted how much cooler she is than the average kid nowadays. After Left Waiting played, the 16 year old girl population went nuts. They had stuff, and they wanted that stuff signed. Apparently an autograph means more to a teenage girl than I could have ever managed. I was sitting in the back by the merch table with Becka (spelled right?), who is Caleb (the lead singer's) wife - who I actually went to high school with for almost 2 weeks...small world. Needless to say we didn't have a whole lot to catch up on - but it was fun. So then these two girls come running up to the merch table where Caleb was...and stop and look at me. They ask "Is he signing autographs?" and Caleb just looks at me. I tell them I'm not in their band, I'm in another--" and they say "I don't care!" and hand me a cell phone. And CD's, and I might have signed a lunch box. Maybe they thought I was David Duchovney with girl hair. Either way, it was grand. Jerod and I then drove home singing along to the Beatles greatest hits - especially "Hey Jude"...man I love that song. Yes, and Death Cab.
Whoa! I just got an email saying that Santa is giving me a free* Playstation 2!! I wonder what the asterisk means...
It's December 21. Funny how when you're a kid you can't wait for Christmas to come. And as you get older you're thinking "What the heck! It was just Thanksgiving! Slow down!". I was planning on makin' some babies later this Spring, but I think I have come to realize that maybe I'll wait a bit longer, what with how hard the holidays were without worrying about the safety of my offspring.
IHOP... What the heck, man. It's been a month since my interview. And Christmas is in four days. So since you didn't deem the holidays of any importance to an applicant, I guess I'm gonna have to just smile a lot and cook macaroni for everyone this year. What a way to repay everyone in this house for letting me stay here the past 2 months, put up with my antics, and drink everything in their fridge. Because nothing says "thank you" quite like a bowl of boxed macaroni so hokey that they have to spell cheese with a "Z" to let you know that their dairy didn't come from anything even close to a cow. It probably came from a man named Henry, who works the graveyard shift at a "Cheez with a Z" powder factory. Don't even ask me what I'm resorting to for stocking stuffers...
So that's all for now. I will write more later on some theories I've been working on, late at night in my bed/futon-from-the-80's. But for now, I've got to go get practice on that "Mackin' Cheez"

Download of the day: Straylight Run "Your Name Here". Wow...it's a chorus you wish you wrote.

21 Years, and 7 Feathers

2004-12-15T18:41:00.000-08:00

So last night, at 12 midnight, my buddy Joel turned 21. And Jerod and I celebrated in a way nobody ever has before. Not by a large consumption of alcohol, nor some stereotypical guy to guy birthday congrats that border hazing...it was just something that happened at 12:15am on December 15th, 2004 - and will probably never happen again. Quite amazing.

At about 12:45, after I had taken a shower of course, Joel, Nelson, Jeff and I went to Seven Feather's casino. Jeff Joel and I had never been...and let me tell you, when it's your birthday, you get treated like royalty. They gave Joel some beef jerky, and a calculater. I taught Jeff how to play craps, and I also got carded 3 seperate times. I guess I just don't look any older than 19. Since we didn't have any money and I am on a budget, Nelson gave Jeff and I ten bucks each, which we won 90 and 30 dollars, respectively. And Nelson, who claims to have a fool proof plan of winning slots, lost 130 bucks. Craps, baby. That's where it's at. One of Jeff's first rolls, he thew the dice off the friggin' table. But he had the best roll of the night, at LEAST 30 consecutive good rolls. Six and eight were hittin', man. Andrew, Mike, Jenae...you shoulda been there.

So tonight we go to Applebee's at 9:30 for Joel's official birthday party. It should be fun, tho I am low on budget as I have mentioned. The guy who does the official hiring at IHOP is finally back from his honeymoon (Good Lord) so I should be getting the job any day now. We'll see. For those of you south of me, I miss you all so much you have no idea. And yes, you too Mr. Ashtown. Yes! Joel's here! Gotta go!

Just Forget Me, It's That Simple

2004-12-11T17:03:00.001-08:00

Taken from a Taking Back Sunday demo song, "Your Own Disaster".

So not a whole lot to update on. I am in job limbo...they tell me that I pretty much have everybody's vote there to get the job...but the person there who has the authority to do the actual hiring is on his honeymoon. I anticipate he will come back in a good mood, and not only hire me - but promote me. I found like, 4 or 5 new bands within the past couple days that really are worth checking out - trust me.

Death From Above 1979
I Can Make A Mess Like Nobody's Business (yes, that is the band's name. Solo effort from Ace Enders, frontman of The Early November)
Mates of State
The Black Maria

Check these bands out...DFA1979 is dance punk, ICMAMLNB is one man emo, MOS is sugary Postal Service-esque with a married couple serenading each other over electronic euro-synths, and TBM is Muse influenced post hardcore, minus the Radiohead vocal patterns and heavy petal use.

Quite often here, I tend to get discouraged, wondering if this escapade is even worth all the risks I'm taking. I really appreciate all your thoughts, comments, and prayers. I know for the most part my updates consist of ramblings of bittersweet enounters with girls, the OC, or stupid things I've done, but the thing is - it is a matter of perspective. At my age, these are the things that matter to me. If I can loosely use the term "generation"....

My generation dwells on relationships. The good ones are so few and far between, and we're never sure of whether or not we have acheived them or not. The bad ones, we dwell on in our dress, our taste in music, our conversation, and our poetry (however we express our feelings I consider poetry). My generation is confused. We're told we will never amount to anything, and on the other hand, we know how much power we possess and the potential to turn this country around. Kids are growing up so fast nowadays. My generation played with Power Rangers and Pogs until the 7th grade. My generation is divided...split down the middle. Half of my classmates are married or will be graduating college this year to settle for a career they compromised their dreams to have. They will be considered successful by your generation, a faux example of what we should be doing. Yet the other half of my generation, is still that kindergartner at the back of class eating paste, who wrote that he wanted to be a rock star, or an astronaut - and still thinks he can be. Yeah, he still eats paste. He still thinks fart jokes are funny, and he probably stays bitter at relationships that happened (or didn't) two presidential administrations ago...but that's the point. If everybody wanted to go "up" on the teeter-totter, there would be no ride. There are two kinds of success in everything. The batter who wins records by hitting home runs off of a pitcher, and there's the pitcher who pitched a perfect game. Those two positions cannot be a marquee for success at the same time. I guess it's just the age we are at. I mean, my generation thinks retro-80's pop culture is cool not because it's now trendy, but because it's what we spent 6-8 years growing up in, and that vague sense of familiarity hits a chord with us.
We're too old to be kids, too young to give up on our dreams.
So yes, there is more to life than relationships. But until my friends and I find the joy of having a child, we will have no idea what it's like to have an unconditional love in another person outside of the family you are born into. We will have no idea what true responsibility is. And we probably won't know how precious life is, because although we have lost so many of our own too soon - and though we see Death in the distance, my generation believes we are invincible.
And as long as we stay focused on Jesus Christ, and never give up on what we believe in...we are.

Quick One

2004-12-08T01:50:00.000-08:00

Hey. Jerod was playing with a lighter, lighting the small fuzzy things of his socks, and it grew and ended up torching a nice patch of leg hair. By the way - if you are going to post on my blog anonymously...please still include your name somewhere in your entry. The whole reason I ask for comments is to get people's perspectives and reactions to my posts. Thank you.
So what's goin on everyone else? We got our Christmas tree put up today, it's awesome. I don't know what I'm gonna do for Christmas yet...really don't think I'm gonna be able to make it back to Oceanside to see my family, at least not right now. Regardless of if anybody else is coming down ('cause we're planning a massive road trip) I really miss everyone and want to visit.

I'll touch you once, I'll touch you twice
I won't let go at any price
I need you now, like I needed you then
You said someday we'd meet again

That song kicks so much butt. "If you leave" is the name...download the Nada Surf version. Gorgeous. I'm tired so I'm gonna leave, I will update more later.

I'm not emo because I cry,
I cry because I'm emo

Haha! Isn't that the most pathetic thing ever? I love it.

Winds Of Change

2004-12-06T02:05:00.000-08:00

First off...please go to www.launch.yahoo.com and watch the Coheed and Cambria video for "Blood Red Summer". It is a delight.

Man, I miss that room. Soon I will put some pics of my new place of residency. This is a short post...I'm going grocery shopping.

By Popular Demand

2004-12-03T23:08:00.000-08:00

Here are the lyrics to "It's not brave, if you're not scared" aka, "Brave". A song I wrote about the long distance between me and a girl, and the hesitation of getting something started after such distance and former pain. There are no lyrics for the 2nd verse, so it goes straight to the bridge...

The moon shines glorious from
The reflexion of the sun
As it's well below the horizon, after another day is done
You are evidence of God's perfection,
His love shows thru your smile
For all the ups and downs I've had,
Now it all seems worth the while.
But my heart's been damaged...
Could you share yours with me?
I know you're scared, 'cause I'm scared too
But just think of what we could be
I've gone two decades, I can't stand one more day (without you)
Now that I've found you, I can't stand one more day (without you)

And I know why God made the sky so large...
So no matter how far apart we are - we can see the same stars
And every time I think of you...
I fall more in love with you and I....intend to make the world yours

In the morning when the sun comes up...I'll still love you (4x)

Lies Of Violent Endings

2004-12-02T14:15:00.000-08:00

Love. Lies Of Violent Endings.
Jerod and I have been talking alot lately, about all kinds of different things. And one of them that always seems to come up of course, is girls. I will here discuss a couplevfindings -

-Look at our music. 95% of all music is about relationships, even the cheesy candy-techno with "Do you think you're better off alone?" belting the back of the pulsing beat. What else would she be singing? About her car? Nothing else consumes our lives so much as a relationship. So, now that we're on track with that, think about who sings about what. The girls seem to like songs about "Independent Women" who don't "need no man". Or "Oops, I ripped out your f'ing heart - did you think it was love? I'm not innocent...I'm a slut" or just plain old "party party - who cares about guys". Yes sometimes you hear of the jerk guys, but apparently the only two girls who really got screwed are Avril Lavigne and Alanis Morissette.
And now the guys. There's an entire genre of music devoted to the crap girls put us thru. Lyrics like "You've got this gun to my head? This song was only wishful thinking" or "I'm thinking awful things...pretty sure that few would notice". From the early 30's blues, to Motown, to modern emo. Girls have been the cornerstone for pain, and writing material.
- Girls have no logic. How many times (guys) have you heard this one "I didn't tell you, because I didn't want to hurt you". Yes. Because keeping things from us makes us feel soooo much better. This lack of logic falls into the naive category .

It seems that with rare exceptions, love is joke. With guys and girls obviously so different, how can we find compatability? A band you should listen to named "Amber Pacific" offers the line "Why should I hold your hand, if you can't promise happy endings?". A good point. Basically all relationships are just a countdown to a break-up. So this dating for the heck of it, or just to "see what happens" is bull. You find somebody you genuinely care about and work like anything. If you're not willing to be made a sucker, then it's got nothing to do with love. Love...God is Love. Says it plainly in Scripture. So what business do we have with God's greatest attribute? Young people being in love, is like giving an M-16 to a toddler. He's just going to end up hurting somebody, including himself...except if he gets a lucky shot.

Nothing specific went down to make me write this. No new developments in my personal life...just a lot of thinking and re-examining situations. Admitting guilt to being overly dramatic and emo, please post comments and rebuttals. Black fingernails are the new eyeliner.

I Think I'm Gonna Have Myself In Shambles

2004-12-01T03:11:00.000-08:00

Whoa check it out -it's 3:11 am...reminds me of a good song.
"Need For Speed Underground 2" kicks so much butt I can't even control myself. I'm pretty sure me and Curtis have the fastest pink Celica. Ever.
Anyways, job interview was great Monday morning - have a 2nd interview lined up here pretty soon, they should be calling me.
Joel and I have been battling wits as of late, since we both have the worst knack for making "off the top of our head" puns. Look forward to a post on puns soon....
It's been a while since I've done this - and since I'm too lazy to write an actual post (it's 3:18 now...God's speaking to me...no time to explain)...I will make a new "ten list"
Things That Piss Me Off -
1. The other drivers in NFSU:2
2. The late nite order taker at Jack in the Box
3. People who don't call me back (friends, family, or possible jobs (excluding Sears, I understand)
4. 9pm on Thursday nites (when the OC ends, and I realize how long I have to wait)
5. Cold feet when I'm sleeping
6. Kelly Clarkson
7. When my cell phone cuts out
8. Naive girls
9. Evil papparazzi that harrass Lindsay Lohan (leave her alone - she's a good kid)
10. Close-minded people (or is it closeD-minded?)

Garden State comes out on DVD December 28th..order now

I Need You So Much Closer...

2004-11-26T14:40:00.000-08:00

That's a line from a Death Cab For Cutie song I've had stuck in my head for a while...gorgeous.
So I had a job interview at Sears last Wednesday! Walked in there, looking pretty professional (I straightened my hair) and found out that all positions had been filled for the electronics department. So they wanted to put me in - receiving. AKA, heavy lifting, seasonal (will fire me after Christmas) and just manual friggin' labor. No thanks. They were making me fill our more paperwork, filing tax papers and the such, and finally, she left the room to get more paperwork. Here was my chance, I left the room as well and snuck out of the back. This guy Nelson called me (who was supposed to hook me up with a killer job there) and was like "Dude! They're looking for you!". Too bad.

Jerod and I went to IHOP to celebrate. Then my good friend Jerod asks our waitress for an application - for me. So I get one, and fill it out. Let me tell you tho - washing dishes for minimum wage at IHOP is not one of my preferred positions. The waitress then informs us that she is the one who sets up interviews. Now just because I'm a nice guy, I told this very attractive waitress I would appreciate an interview. Problem - my interview Monday morning is not with this very attractive waitress. I am told it will be with a "Very large, man hating lesbian named Terry". Sounds like I'm gonna have quite a case of the "Mondays".

Thanksgiving was cool. A lot of people here let me borrow their families for the holidays. I went to Glide and ate at a family's house I didn't know (tho I went to middle school with one of the daughters. Weird). Then I went to Cory's house to eat some of Kenny and Peggie's food. Got to see them, Ashley and Brittany so it was cool.

And then, in true American fashion, everyone met back at the house and had a party. We celibrated how I figure the Pilgrims did on that first day of giving thanks with the Native Americans...assuming the Pilgrims ended up chasing the Indians around in their underwear until some of the Indians got fed up and started threatening to hang the Pilgrims if they didn't put their pants back on; the Indians mostly being sisters, and Bitterman - and the Pilgrims being pretty much the rest of us. And that's right - in fashion true to our reputation, not very many girls who aren't related to us come to our parties. Thought I'm not sure why...

News: Kenny Johnson has offered to teach me how to cook a turkey! I told him I'm planning on starting a family pretty soon here, gettin' me a lady and havin' some babies. After he was done laughing at me and making measure 36 jokes, he offered to teach me all he knew. What a guy...watch out ladies.

The Sound Of Settling

2004-11-18T13:23:00.000-08:00

The 27 episodes are finished. Episodes 1 and 2 of the new season have been downloaded, and viewed. Episode 3 goes down tonight at 8. It's gonna be so bad...

So last night I'm hanging out with some buddies after seeing "Saw", and I meet this girl, named Leslie. Turns out, her roomate is the manager of Sam Goody. Weird, huh? Might get better chances of getting hired now, she's gonna put in a good word for me. I think a musical snob emo kid is just what the store needs.

I've been getting homesick lately, which is lame because I'm still not sure what "home" feels like. I love the familiarity of it here, how I know everybody and have so many friends. But when I watch OC, or talk about the pier in Oceanside, In-N-Out, Del Taco, all that stuff. I think we're all going to start this great migration of Roseburgers down there. I do miss my family like crazy tho. This is now the longest I have ever been away from "home". I'm not inclined to put pics on here, so here is a link you can use.
http://www.sphoto.com/photo.php?photo=722&exhibition=14&pass=public&size=default&lang=eng

Pretty, huh? Well, take care for now and please, send your comments. I love reading them.

She's Shakin...

2004-11-15T13:11:00.000-08:00

Yeah. It's getting serious.
So Ryan was right. Oliver really was a shady guy with hidden agendas - I hope Marissa feels stupid. Why are girls so friggin' naive? She thinks that just because she views him as a friend, it's harmless. Two thoughts:
1. You trust your boyfriend/guy of interest over random dudes. Guys jealousy is fueled by intuition
2. Besides, why would you want to risk losing the guy you do like over some guy that you "don't"?

So. Seth lost Anna (Pittsburgh). Because he's never had a relationship before and is tring too hard to cover all his bases and is (unfortunately) still liking Summer. So he's hurting poor Anna and now she's gone. Anna is, by my and Jerod's calculations, perfect. I can't wait until tonight, when we put on disc 5 and see if/how he gets her back. Please....Seth...do what you can, brother.

Thanksgiving is coming. Whoo...the one day of the year we pretend is in honor of giving thanks (hence the name), yet we spend it watching football games, and being a glutton. Not sure what I'm doin for the holidays yet...eating a lot hopefully. And since it falls on a thursday, possibly watching the OC. Oh, what a feast it will be.

I'm about to go drop off an application to Sam Goody (pray it works out).

Sleepy

2004-11-13T14:59:00.000-08:00

Last night, Joel and I jogged down to Fred Meyer's, and I purchased the entire season 1 of "The OC" on DVD. 27 episodes on 7 DVD's. It is, without a doubt, the greatest show in television history. We put the first one in around 10 or so, and ended up watching the first 8 episodes back to back....ending at 6 in the morning. So much drama! Every plot twist and turn, wrong people there at the wrong time, and it's hilarious too. If you haven't been watching this gem of telivision cinema, you need to get on it. Tonight I am going back over to the house and at 8:30, we are starting with episode 9...I really can't wait. But I'm afraid something bad is going to happen Ryan...he really is trying so hard!
Other news...can't think of anything worth mention. The new Eminem CD is out but I haven't gotten it yet. I heard some of it in Chet's car, and it sounds...alright. Last night I went to Wal-Mart with "the family" (all of us) again, and saw in the CD section a small 6x6 picture advertising that Lindsay Lohan has an album coming out on December 7th. Disapointed I was going to have to wait so long for the album, I took the picture. Agenda for the day: Trying to find a custom 6x6 frame.
That's all for now

Put Me Out 'Cause I'm On Fire

2004-11-12T15:34:00.000-08:00

So my car has this problem, right. Not only does it not go in reverse, it over heats when it sits in idle for longer than like, 2 minutes. So yesterday there I am in the McDonald's drive thru (with this random guy, Johnny) around noon, and big surprise, they're lagging. My temperature needle starts redlining, so I turn the car off. The cars ahead of me move, I restart the car. They stop, I turn off the car, etc..only on this particular day, just as I am about to get my food, the car decides not to start. The battery is dead. So every girl - and I swear there must have been 30 of them working this shift - start yelling at me to move my car. I can barely open my car doors, let alone push myself out. So I make the screaming girls come out and help give me a shove. The funny thing about not having a car, is you throw yourself at the mercy of anybody who happens to have access to an automobile. Yesterday was no exception. So apparently this guy who was with me has connections to a car. So picture this..an overly obese woman who, on our 10 minute drive, smoked enough cigarettes for all 6 of her teeth. In the driver's side, is this guy(?). Apparently his wardrobe influences were Bjork...if she was a sexually frustrated gay man. Yeah. And I'm crammed in the middle of two brothers. On the left of me, is someone NOT NAMED MARCO (I am pretending to change his name because if he knew I was writing about him I am sure he would kill me). So Not-Named-Marco is telling me in his left ear how he spent 5 years in the pen for beating a "black person" with a bottle. In my right ear, Johnny is telling me about his woman problems. Oh yeah, and Luniz "I got 5 on it" is blasting on the one stock stereo speaker that is working. It was seriously like a scene from a movie.
Got a new battery. 69 bucks wasn't too bad. Now I'm mobile again.

Band news? Enh? I got some developments but I'm too lazy after typing that story to fill you in. Just keep praying and prepare for the mosh.

Oh and one last thing - I slept last night on Cory's Lazy-Boy. And I had the best dream of my life. I swear it was long enough to have been a movie, I think I spent like a week in this alternate life. I'll explain later. It was rad...

Title And Registration

2004-11-10T13:01:00.000-08:00

Today started pretty normal. And yeah I blew it yesterday, nothing too cool happened worth really writing about. I'm at Cory and Jaden's house right now on their 'net, trying to think of somethign productive to do. It looks like I'm gonna have to get a job pretty quick here, and that's always fun. I have a few options, such as Dell. People who work there love it, people who used to work there hate it. So...I dunno. I think I would be good at it, but I would rather have more interaction with people I am selling to than just on the phone. It's a paycheck tho, and I'm not really planning on building a career here, right?
Anything worth having has to be worth waiting for. I'm still confused right now being back in Fishbowl. It's like I still feel like Oceanside is home, and talk about "yeah I live down the street from Howie" and then the next minute I'll be telling somebody "hey I'm gonna go home and take a shower real quick". It's like I have this distorted view of what "home" is. Zach Braff said in Garden State it's nothing more than a place for us to put our crap, and maybe he was right. The physical "home" and the emotional ties we have to our surroundings aren't always the same thing. This isn't even the longest I've been away from home (my family) but knowing that this will be the longest I'll be away, I miss them so much more already. It's amazing how supportive they are in this whole process. So as this confusing, and often discouraging experiment goes on, I know that it's better than me being stuck at my old job, every Monday exactly like the last Friday.
Good things are coming, and I'm having so much fun being here tho. Yesterday I went grocery shopping with the people I have been staying with. Jerod, Dustin, Bree, Curtis, Hannah, and even Bitterman came. There was like 7 of us running all over Food World throwing frozen entrees in the cart, it was so much fun. It really does feel like a family at that house. Well, that's all the nonsensical rambling I will do for today

Yeah

2004-11-09T11:58:00.000-08:00

So yeah, nothing too new. Watched "Original Sin" with Jerod and Joel last night, that movie was just lame. I guess it got raiving reviews but I'm not sure why. Anyways like I said there's nothing too new going on. The word from some of the Issachar guys themeselves is that they are on more of a sabbatical, or break. Like they just want to figure some stuff out and see what can happen in the future. Most of the information I get changes from time to time so I will try to give the latest updates and not misinform you.
Soon I will have to get a job. I have a few different options so it shouldn't be a big deal. Then I'm gonna have to find a place to stay. I think I'll try and find myself a hot roomate. Like Joel.
I'm finally getting after this friggin' cold I've had the past week. Started out with a sore throat that could kill a llama, and now it's down the whole "blow your nose every 12 seconds" phase, which we all know about. Vick's vapo-rub is the greatest invention of all time, next to Ny-Quil, and maybe the wheel. Geez here I am on this huge excapade and I don't have many interesting things to say. I guess today I'm gonna have to go do something really cool. Later

Update of the Mosh

2004-11-02T13:34:00.000-08:00

Issachar has broken up. One member made a mistake (dumb, but nobody knew about it). Regardless, one member was asked out of the band, at least for now. So, the other 4 obviously can't do it without him. So this band is "broken up" and doesn't seem to be doing anything about it other than dodging questions and being bitter at at least one other member. I'm not sure when or who to approach first because I hate just seeing them sit and not do anything. As the details unfold I will update more. I saw Coheed and Cambria on halloween night, good concert. Now tonite I am going to see Jimmy Eat World. Great band, get the new album.
Give me comments of encouragement! I risk falling into what everybody else has. I can get a decent job, make decent money, get a decent place, and live her forever. But that's not good enough for me. It's like Christopher Walken said in Envy..."You gotta shake things up". I'm out for now...goin' to Eugene. Woot.

Back To The Fishbowl

2004-10-29T13:07:00.000-07:00

So I'm here now. The drive was so long, but didn't really seem that way. We stopped in Orange County to see Jeff at the mall. We stopped in Bakersfield for a few hours, to have dinner with Sara's family and say goodbye to them. And then at 5 in the morning, we stop in Yreka (20 minutes from the border) to camp outside of the courthouse and wait for them to open. Ate at an amazing home style restaurant, I think the name was Black Bear or something like that. Greatest food ever. Got my court stuff taken care of and now I have a legal driver's licenese arriving in the mail soon. Sweet.

Roseburg so far has given me mixed emotions - partly because I hadn't slept in almost 40 hours and was very out of it. But the joy of familiarity is interrupted with the fact it's almost not so familiar...it's so changed. Even the closest of friends seem distant here. Man...I swear it is almost just like Garden State when Large gets into town. (Wait it's 11:11....have to say a prayer). Ok, back. Anyways yeah you just realize that everybody seems to be so content with being content. None of my plans have been revealed to anyone here yet, I don't think it's time. Well things are going well tho, and I will write more when I get the chance. Keep me in your prayers.

Mumpkin Follow-up

2004-10-27T01:14:00.000-07:00

A couple more quick details about these little mumpkins...
Regarding cheating. If you're in class, and you copy off of a test, you're cheating, right? Well what about when you're not at school. You copy the homework of somebody and then present to your teacher the work "you" did. Answer? Still cheating.

And don't give me that "all we did was kiss" or "it didn't mean anything" bull crap, either. Yes, it's still cheating.

When you truely care about somebody, first of all, you won't want anybody else. It doesn't matter if you label yourselves "Boyfriend and girlfriend - dating since November 8th, 2003" Sometimes you just happen to meet somebody special, and they steal your heart. You praise God in the car on the way to work, for no reason other than that they are in your life. So many people fall in love, and so few actually grow in love. So it's not about not cheating. It's about being faithful because there's something so much better. As for me...my lips are lonely because my heart remembers.

Oh yeah. And I'm moving (for the time being) back to Fishbowl, OR tomorrow, aka Roseburg.

And finally, Mumpkin? Snatch is a great movie.

It's About To Go Down

2004-10-24T02:15:00.000-07:00

So yeah. I bought the new Used album, and the new Jimmy Eat World album. They both seem to be worth your 12 bucks. And if you still haven't gotten Straylight Run - get on it.

I leave Wednesday morning. EARLY Wednesday morning, like the wee hours. I'm not sure what hours constitue being "wee" but I'm guessing 1 or 2am warrant a "wee" rating. I then quit my job, move out of my house, and basically leave everything of "comfort" behind to be closer to my goals in music, and a girl (you're darn right she's a mumpkin!).

Where will I stay? What will I do for money? How long will I be gone? Will any of this even work out? Funny thing is, the less in control I am, the more in control God can be. Cliche` yes. But you know how things become cliche`? Because they're always right. Of course something will sound over used if it's always proven to be true! Well, I don't have too much to say tonight so I'm gonna end it about here. Goodnite.

Anybody who begins living in Christ becomes a new creature
Begins a new life
This is the music diriven from that decision, and every decision after that
My New Life Sdtrk

Mumpkin. What is one? Where can I find one?

2004-10-20T17:44:00.000-07:00

If you were to ask Jeeves what a "mumpkin" was, you would get a result for "Life With Mumpkin: Die Hard Bronco Fan". If you asked the Webster's Dictionary, there is no entry found. Did I mean "bumpkin"? It would seem that there is no real way to define what a "mumpkin" is, or where they come from. I myself have been intrigued by this strange breed of girls...or "mumpkins". Have you met a mumpkin? Compare with these 10 requirements and see for yourself.

1. A potential mumpkin pledge cannot become a mumpkin by any act or belief. You must be dubbed into mumpkinhood by a dude who understands what mumpkinhood is.
2. Mumpkins don't mate until after marriage. If a mumpkin has mated before, it must no longer.
3. Mumpkins are almost impossible to find. And harder to catch. My friend Andrew met one when we was 14. He didn't get the chance to date the mumpkin until he was 19. Mumpkins require a great deal of patience.
4. You can NOT cheat on a mumpkin. Will they cheat on you? No. That would be un-mumpkinlike. They do however, cheat on bets you make with them. (i.e., the "prone" definition bet)
5. Mumpkins require extremely affectionate pet names, such as "Lizard Lips" and/or "Farting Ferret".
6. Mumpkins believe in, and follow Jesus. Not the devil.
7. Mumpkins are impossible to understand and will frustrate you to no end.
8. Mumpkins are telepathic. But they never share it with you.
9. Mumpkins have incredible taste in music, and movies. Tho sometimes they don't appreciate classics such as "Snatch". In this case, if they are really pretty, you can let it slide.
10. Kelly Clarkson is not, nor ever will be, a mumpkin. See #6.

I will embelish on this a bit more when I have time.

Amber's Question: 2

2004-10-19T23:59:00.000-07:00

Again today I was talking to Amber on the phone, roughly embelishing on her question of why God allows us to rebel if it hurts Him so much. She was telling me how lately it seems he has almost been questioning or doubting God's motives on things. Lately I have been - I feel that that is a good thing. Let's say you and I wake up one morning, and I go outside. You ask me what the weather is like and I tell you it is mostly sunny, but might rain later. You can keep sitting on the couch, and take what I said as truth. And anybody who asks you about the weather, you can say "It's mostly sunny, but might rain later". When people ask you why you believe that you can only say that's what you heard, or whatever have you. But there is nothing wrong with taking the intiative to look outside for yourself. It's not necessarily a lack of belief in what I told you, you just wanted to experience it rather than take a second hand answer. When we get to this point in our lives (20, 21, etc...) we don't have to still live on a story our youth pastor told us in the 9th grade. Or what our church pastor told us on Sunday. "God, my friend just died. You claim that Your glory will be shown in all things, and I don't see how that could be so right now". Talk to God! He understand a lot more than we give Him credit for. I AM NOT IMPLYING TO QUESTION GOD. But to ask Him questions can help you know His character better.
Second. Let's say that somebody strongly believes in God, but not Jesus necessarily. Is that wrong? Yes. Because the Truth is that Jesus is real. " Romans 2:12-13: Some people do not know God's Law when they sin. They will not be judged by the law when they Die. Others do know God's Law when they sin...hearing the Law does not make a person right with God. People are considered to be right with God only when they obey the Laws.
That is from the NIRV translation, a translation written for third grade reading level so VERY plainly put. Check it out in your translation and compare. The child in Africa who has never heard of Jesus won't be judged like you or I would. Each will have a chance to accept or deny the Truth. You can't believe that the World War II happened, but not believe that Pearl Harbor did. It's all or nothing. Hope I clarified! Your thoughts....

Beef Jerky

2004-10-19T01:55:00.000-07:00

That stuff is great. Anyways...today was a pretty standard day. Only there is a large hole in the storage room of my work which I SWEAR I am not responsible for. So...it's been raining thru this hole the past couple of days, ruining some cheap AirSoft guns. Tomorrow morning I am marching into Home Depot and grabbing some materials. Going into work, and fixing that ceiling. With duct tape, plastic stuff, and testosterone. I'm probably going to end up just making the hole bigger.

OK, seriously, as some of you may know I am a firm believer that God speaks to me thru liscense plates. Now, it's not so much just liscense plates, it's just that they are the most obvious way to show me things. You see, they have so many numbers and letters on them. These "coincidental" arrangements of number have been tripping me out for a few months now. Not so sure where the fine line of coincidences ends...it's all good though. Makes for good conversation starters with God.

And so apparently, Sara didn't die. Nor did her doctor feel the need to amputate her finger. Which is good, because if they had, I don't know how she would dial her cell phone (I'm kidding). Anyways, I said I would keep you updated so there it was. Sidenote: if cats are fighting, throw water on them. They get too caught up in their fury and will attack anything that comes near them, including Sara.

It is 1 am on Tuesday morning, Brocktober 19th. That means two things. One, there is a new commercial for the upcoming Relient K album at mmhmm.com and two, there are 8 days until I embark on my journey.

Upcoming posts: What my journey entails, dream interpretation, and mumpkin definition. Wow

Wow

2004-10-17T22:39:00.000-07:00

So...me and Jeff are (surprise) eating at Chili's tonight. The phone rings. And it's sara. I didn't answer because I was right in the middle of a fajita. Well, I wasn't in a fajita, I was eating one I mean. Anyways, I check my message after eating. Sara is crying like a Nike Laborer about something or other and wants me to call her back. So...I do. But her battery is flat, so the phone keeps cutting out. All I can hear it "I'm ok, I'm ok". Nice Gerard, but what was wro ng? Finally after the 6th call, she tells me "...I got bit by a cat. Really bad". So I laughed. Hard. She got pissed. She calls me back and says "It's not funny! Now I have to get shots up my butt!". I mean due to Tetanus (sp) I understand shots in the butt. But UP the butt? Wow. Jeff speculates the only cat that warrants those kind of shots and/or tears is a Liger (a lion and tiger mixed. Bred for its magic powers). Anyways, I will update to make you all know she is ok. But admit it, you laughed, too.

Amber's Question

2004-10-16T23:26:00.000-07:00

So last night as I was playing AirSoft in a HOUSE (yeah, it was sick), I got a phone call just before the first game started. I'm in prime position, game starting any minute and I get a call from "unavailable". So I answer it, and it's Amber. Her phone was, as always, cutting out - so I may have missed what she asked me. But it was something to the effect of why does God allow us to be incapable of perfection, if we are hurting Him so much by going again His Will so often? I may have misunderstood, but here would be my answer to that -

In the beginning, God made heaven and earth, everything between, and then man. Then woman. We could do all and eat all we wanted, save the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil. We ate, then therefore became AWARE of the difference between Good and Evil. Now we know the difference between right and wrong. The first thing we noticed? Being naked (haha). So...now we know right and wrong. God tried to protect us, but we were deceived by the Evil one (see a trend here?). Now there's the Sunday School "duh" answer. Digging deeper...
If we never screwed up, God would never be able to show forgiveness. Lying, jealousy, stuff like that. And if we never screwed up BIG TIME, then He would never be able to show mercy. We deserve nothing short of Hell eternal for the "smallest" of sins. Yet no matter how big or small they seem to us, God sees all of them as unacceptable, yet He is Faithful and Just to forgive. Remember in Exodus when God said (paraphrased)"But I will harden Pharoah's heart, and he will not listen to you, that my Glory will be shown"? All things work for Good (trend!) for those who Love God. And as much as it pains our God to see us running around not trusting Him and sinning againt Him, all He wants is for us to come to Him and be with Him forever. Our greatest "backsliding" points of life are like a tempor tantrum to God, I think. He sits with arms crossed and says "Are you done yet?". Hopefully this clarified a little bit. Because if I wasn't a scumbag sinner - and I am - then what faith and love would I have to have for God to try? Our efforts are rewarded greatly.

Question! If what I said about God wanted us to be with Him in Eternity is true - why is there earth? Why didn't He just create us as souls in the first place? So we could be made in His image...then we got free will....I just answered myself like it was the same question....time for bed apparently. Goodnight Amber

Bringing The Mosh

2004-10-16T23:08:00.000-07:00

Yo. So friggin' this morning I was in the greatest mood. It had to do with how God has been revealing Himself to me lately. Anyways, I go out to the car to boogie down to work...something is awry...my deck is missing. My cd's are missing. And yes, my BASS is missing. Got jacked for the third time in less than two years. Bummed me out, man. A week and a half before I'm supposed to go to Oregon to try and start a band and I lose my BASS?!? What's up with that?

At work, some experiments went down. Me and my scientific buddy Phil took a can of green gas (for airsoft), and put it in our shooting box - a plastic 3 foot by 2 foot box we like to call the "chamber of secrets". So anyways, I then shot the can of green gas with my Ruger sniper rifle. Can bursts, and gas fills the Chamber of Secrets. So what's the only logical thing to do now? Tape a piece of paper towel to a stick, light the paper, and stick it into the box. The Chamber of Secrets spat a small fireball at me, to which I backed up quickly. Phil quickly extinguished the flame with well aimed squirts of Windex. Then..would it light again? It did. Oh child, it did. The Chamber of Secrets literally growled with the sound of a thousand Swedes. My eyebrows were singed blonde, my face was reddened, and the left side of my hair caught fire. I screamed, and ran into the back room so fast the fire must have dissapated (thank God). We had to take the smoking Chamber of Secrets outside to let it cool down, as the whole store was bellowing smoke out of it. The whole back wall is covered in soot, and burned. I need chemicals. And I have pictures.

Running In The Straylight

2004-10-15T21:47:00.000-07:00

Yes. Go puchase the debut album from Straylight Run. Beautiful piano driven melodic emo. Best album since July (Which was of course, Taking Back Sunday's "Where You Want To Be"). Anyways, just letting you know.
Well, this will just be a quick update. I'm still at work at 9:50 pm. That's because I am going to see the greatest movie ever with Jeff, Stacey (his girlfriend) and their friend Andrea. The greatest movie ever? I Heart Huckabees. I haven't seen it but I'm pretty sure it will be amazing.
Talked to Amber tonight (the mumpkin). That was good, we always end up having the greatest conversations. I love making her laugh...perhaps that is part of the reason God made me such an idiot...hmmm...
Emo thought of the day: Amber has the most beautiful voice; Miss her like crazy. If you're reading this, I'll see you soon, Snoopy! I'm out to see Huckabee's, y'all.

What? Two posts in one day?

2004-10-13T15:38:00.000-07:00

That's right. I have an extra day off this week. Now I SHOULD be at the DMV right now renewing my liscense which has been expired since my birthday, over a month ago. BUT I think that I will sit here at my computer and be counter-productive. If anybody is interested in AirSoft, a great website to go to is www.858airsoft.com - my personal friend Tyler put his own time and money into it. Plus, the forum is rad. Get a screen name and ask questions, lot of cool people to talk to if you want to learn about the sport. It is definetly taking over paintball.

So...I'm on my way to the bank this afternoon to deposit some money and Amber calls me. For those of you not up to speed - Amber, aka Snoopy, aka The Sweet Chinchilla, aka Amber Lynn, aka Muhammed Ali, aka whatever random name comes to mind when I'm trying to make her laugh - is a friggin' cool girl who lived down here for a while, but now is back in Idaho takin' care of business. She's what some might call a "Mumpkin". I'll go into detail what "Mumpkinhood" is all about some other time. Irregardless, I miss her like crazy, and it's not often that we get to talk so it was nice hearing from her today. Glad you're doing well, Amber.

Final update, I will soon be completely finished with my cutting-edge children's book, "Sherman the Rabbit Finds Himself". It's gonna be sick. Later

Spectacular Views

2004-10-13T11:24:00.000-07:00

So last night after work, I met up with Genoa at Barne's & Noble, and went with her to take her friend home. CHRIS TROY! He's 15, but a sponsored skater and he's the MAN. Keep an eye out for him...
Anyways after we took him home, we went to her house to write some music. I wrote the lyrics for a fairly solid song, and she began on the piano part. It was interesting, I wrote about how when we become bitter during our hard times, that becomes our comfort. We would rather sit in our room and mope about the past then get out and do something about it (for me it was true, anyways). And how we blame ourselves for our "horrible" pasts.

"But Samson sold his given gift, for a lustful smile,
And David stole another's wife, that cost him his first child"

That was a line I wrote, because me and my buddy Mike had talked about that, as well as Jeff. David was called "a man after God's own heart", and he had committed adultery AND murdered. God's not concerned with our past! It's not what you've done, it's what you'll do afterwards.

The last thought is a question thought: do animals worship? I mean seriously...when the wolf howls at the moon. When the rooster crows. When the birds sing every morning as the sun comes up...I read somewhere that even the flowers of the field are pleasing to the Lord, their only act is being beautiful as God created them with their vibrant colors. Perhaps it's not too farfetched that we as humans are not the only of God's creations to recognize Him as Lord.....

2004-10-07T01:56:00.000-07:00

So tonight me and this girl Genoa were going to go to the Eisley/Snow Patrol show at Cane's Bar and Grill. After waiting in line for over an hour, they won't let me in because my liscense is expired. I talk her into going in anyways (she saw some people she knew in line), while I would just wait. Now..what do to for 2 hours...
I went for a walk. A homeless man was sittin on a bus bench, asking for change. I gave him a few bucks and went on my way. A few minutes later I found myself still thinking about him, so I went back to talk to him. Sat down and offered to go get some pizza, but he was "on the move". Apparently..."they" are trying to capture him, lock him in a room, and use his electricity to charge batteries for Sears. He won't let them though, no sir. His body electricity is only for him. Also, he moves state to state so he WON'T establish residency. Why wouldn't he want residency in a certain state? Because "they" want him to...that's right...run for Senate. And no, he's not going to "f'ing do it". He would rather "live in a bush". Finally, be aware that "they" are slowly converting the area between Belmont Park and Rancho Bernardo into...a moon station. He found out while "they" had him in captivity, something he over heard.His bus came, and he went on his way.
I then walked along the beach (I was in Mission Bay) for a while, thinking my thoughts. After a while, I was walking back and saw a mentally challenged dude in a wheelchair, with his head down. As I walked past, he asked me softly if I could dial this number, and handed me a card. It was his care taker. I called the number and heard "Oh my God, where are you?!?!". Apparently people were looking for this guy. He said he missed his bus stop and was waiting there a bit. I told the care-takers to meet me at the Jack In The Box. So off me and my new buddy Robert Fox go, to Jack In The Box to get some food. He's the friggin' man. He's 42, watches cartoons daily, and loves Elton John. When I asked him how many people he asked for help, he said I was the first, he doesn't talk to strangers. I said but what about me and he said "You didn't look like a stranger to me". So...finally after Robert threw down like 8 friggin' chicken pieces (hungry fella), his people came for him. APPARENTLY...the friggin' police were looking for him and everything. He had been wandering around since 2:30 that afternoon. I got to him at 10:30. So that means that he had been wheeling himself around Bellmont Park for 8 hours...and I was the ONLY person he asked for help. After me missing the show, wandering here and there, getting food, learning of hobo's theories, I wind up right here, with Robert Fox, talking about the insecurities of failing, and how hard it is to ask for help. Funny how God constantly reminds of how tripped out His timing is. Going from bummed out to missing a concert, to the feeling of helping a lost, handicapped man find his way home. Take your pepper.

And I Know Much More Than I Did Back Then...

2004-10-01T22:37:00.000-07:00

Why do the best things that ever happen to us, always happen so fast? Why do the good memories hurt so much more than the bad ones? For me anyways, I think it's because I have high expectations. I can easily remember times when I (in hindsight) had it all. And now i go day to day, happy...yet not content. I've been hanging with Jeff lately, one of my best friends. I find that when we talk, we either reminisce on the past, or talk about how exciting/scary the future is. And how we want it to be. The present to us is either a reminder of what HAS happened, or a merging path on the road of where we want to be. I don't think either one of us has ever kicked back, thrown back a cold one, and said 'This is it right here, buddy. This is what life is all about. This is where I have always wanted to be". I think that years from now, when (Lord willing) we are married (to girls), have families, and musical careers, we will STILL be talking of the old times, and wondering about tomorrow.
It seems we go our whole life worrying about tomorrow. When we're six, it's what to bring to show and tell. When we're 15, it's our history paper. When we're 21 (and you're like me), it's balancing such a pivotal "make it or break it" point in our lives thus far. But it won't end there...soon "tomorrow" we wil worry about mortgage. Our kids' well being. And so on...so whats the point of worrying? Yes, I am being a HUGE hypocrite right now. I worry like it's cool twice. But when you ask God to teach you how to swim, He throws you in the white water rapids. Cliche` as it may be, God's Word is a lamp unto our feet. What that means to me, is you can only see one step at a time. And if things and people I love are more than a step away, I have to do something to get there. Sitting in one place is comfortable, but good is always best's worst enemy. I know I've rambled...but I feel better.