Don't Wake Up

Smallpox Is for Suckers

2007-09-23T20:01:00.000-07:00

So there I was. Sitting at work, minding my own business. I get an email, claiming that I am delinquent on my medical records, and therefore unready to deploy. The only thing I was missing, was my smallpox shot. I had heard plenty of horror stories about this guy, and was in no excitement to get this vaccination. However, if you're unfit to deploy, you are unfit to take leave, and I have a special lady coming out here in a few weeks. I would prefer to have some time off to show her around the island, and not be at work; so off to medical I went.

Also, they told me I had to.

Wednesay afternoon, I am shown a terrifying video of what smallpox can do to you, and why you need the vaccination. We are then shown a terrifying video of what the smallpox shot will do to you. Thrilled, to say the least. A brief interview shows that I am qualified to receive the smallpox shot, since I'm not pregnant, and I was ordered to.

The shot, is not a needle.

...just to give you an idea. It isn't all that big, but it hurts.

Anyway, you are injected three times, in a small triangle form, like the Coheed and Cambria logo, or the Predator's laser sight. Within a week, the three spots will have become small blisters, and will form one large blister, roughly the size of the dime.

One week passed, and there I was the following Wednesday, nervous. The Doc looks under my bandage, and LAUGHS. Didn't even try to hide it. No blister, NOTHING.
The result? 15 more shots in the same. Exact. Spot.

Well here it is Monday now, two days from my second check up. And wouldn't you know it? Not the slightest hint of a blister. Turns out that after your 18th shot, if you still don't show a blister, you are signed off on and considered inherently immune. I was asked if I was around cows a lot as a child. I wasn't, actually, but whatever the case may be...I was stabbed 18 times, for nothing.

Can't wait till my follow up on Wednesday. Suckers.

Try Again?

2007-08-26T02:25:00.000-07:00

So....I enrolled in college. I tried back in 2002, the year after high school as well, which got me nowhere. Between not being motivated, not feeling that I fit in, and the freedom of not being held accountable for being absent or not - I was gone nearly every class.

But hey. I was 18, and hanging out with friends and making raps was more important to me at the time.

Five years pass, I am in the Marines, and I am offered another opportunity to go to school. So...I try again.

I decide that working with youth has always interested me, so I will take a class in education.

Two classes have passed, and I have already decided that I would rather get a weekly papsmear than go to this class.

It is nothing against the teacher (who is incredible), my classmates (who are very open and friendly), or even the curriculum (which I have no room to debate anyway). It is the science, politics, and social circles that come with "teaching".

You can't just get a job, obtain a degree, or even make a group of friends, without conforming to what has already been set into motion before you got there.

What a sad revelation to come to.

To lose all faith in something you have such a high passion for in such a short time.

Perhaps that class made it all worth it. This one, I will actually finish.

Stay class, Okinawa.

Feels Like The First Time

2007-07-25T05:40:00.001-07:00

I am rediscovering my love and passion for music - and am loving every minute of it.

The meloncholy, the passion, even the mindless and fun works.

No matter what mood you're in, someone always feels like you.

So Many New Things...

2007-07-04T01:17:00.000-07:00

So here I am. SItting at the library on base, with my brand spankin' new laptop. And yes, of COURSE it's a Mac.
Problem being, the wi-fi on base is ran on Japanese frequencies (or however you term that). So the website come up with plenty of Japanese symbols and this and that. It took me 10 minutes to log on to my blogger account, and another 5 to find how to update my blog. This will take some getting used to.

Other than loss of web translation things are going well here. I just got promoted yesterday to the rank of Lance Corporal, so this laptop was my little reward to myself. Truth be told, I registered this one under Courtney's name, and then when I get another one I will send this one to her. My intentions are half sweet, taking care of my girl; half excuse for me to buy more stuff.

I will be getting a camera soon, so I will be able to post pictures on here. I thought Oregon was the most green, and San Diego had the best sunsets, but they have both been beaten hands down to Okinawa.

But it's still hard to read their websites.

Wow

2007-06-23T20:28:00.000-07:00

So...I live in Japan now. I'm in a receiving platton right now, so I will be pretty busy taking care of settling in. I pick up with my new unit on Wednesday. Wish me luck there!

I'll update more often once I get settled in, get internet, and all that stuff. Take care everyone.

Robert Redford Would Tell Me I Suck

2007-04-21T10:10:00.000-07:00

So, I have the video camera now. I taped us in the barracks. I taped us walking around the base. I even taped the barracks in the distance as we walked around the base. Of all the words that come to mind, "riveting" is not one of them.

My new-found aspirations to be an independent film maker, seems to not be panning out as hoped. My first feature is a short documentary, featuring Marines on a Navy Base who aren't allowed to leave. That might even end up being the name of the short film.

The Sundance Film Festival may not be ready.

The tape is about half way finished, and upon marking completion, I will ship the camcorder and my indie drama back to Courtney, who is still in Oregon, roughly eight bajillion miles away.

She won't like it, either. But a least now she will be able to picture in her head the places that I describe, and the people I live with. Think of it as The Real World, meets MASH, meets The Constant Gardener.

Today, we PT'd (physical training). Saturday it may be, but PT we did. It.
Today was ultimate frisbee, and my team ultimately scored 7 points to their 5, and it was a feeling of ultimate satisfaction, since the highest ranking Marine there was on my team as well, and he therefore did not need to destroy me for sucking at life.

He hasn't seen my video.

I wish I had a computer at my disposal, one where I could upload my drama onto it, edit it, put a little music here and there, maybe some sound effects, maybe a CGI little talking animal sidekick to accompany me around. I could then burn my labor onto disc, and distribute it all over. Instant cinema.

However, the lack of equipment gives the film more of a "raw" feel. Don't confuse "raw" with "poor and lazy".

The film will be not be rated. That would cut down on the "raw"ness. Ultimately.

Well now I've pretty much scribed out every scenario and plot of the audio/visual fest that is my life, right here on this blog. Now when Courtney sees it, she can say "Not only did it suck - the book was better".

Just wait till you get to the scene where we're allowed to go out in town in Newport.

School is VERY tough and demanding, but that will not be filmed. It's not pertinent.

Thought of the day: does it really have to be "ultimate frisbee"? That sounds like we should be listening to Quiet Riot blaring out of our Camarro and wearing our Master of Puppets cut-off shirts with ill fitted jeans. Frisbee Football, I thought, would suffice.

Whew!

2007-04-15T11:28:00.000-07:00

Week one of school is finished. It's Sunday now, and the weather is absolutely horrible. It rains sideways, and the wind is probably exceeding the speed limit - no joke. Granted, the speed limit on base isn't super fast, but it's still cold as all get out.

School is fairly tough. At least, it is for me. This whole legal thing is very new to me. Very interesting tho.

I am going to have Courtney send me her video camera over here, so I can make a kind of documentary of the school here. So it should be sufficiently boring, and be pretty much me acting like a moron trying to make people laugh.

Whoever anonymously posted a comment, come back! It's my turn to read your blog now. It's only fair...

Well I'm done for now. Every time I go to update my blog, I realize how mundane I must seem.

Oh and by the way, watch "Stranger Than Fiction". Surprisingly, it was really good.

Holla back.

4421

2007-04-01T11:26:00.000-07:00

Yeah, that's my MOS. 4421, Legal Services. School starts on April 9, which means I am pretty much just hanging out in the meantime waiting to pick up.

There are some pretty cool people in the class, and it's a small class. 23 Marines, maybe 25? Something like that, I dunno.

I don't go down to the Liberty Center (where the computers are) much here, because it's a long walk and we stay pretty busy. If I can find a spot for my PSP to get wi-fi maybe I'll update more on there. I'll look into it.

I swear I'm not as boring as this is all coming across. The problem is, many of these stories are of the "guess you had to be there" variety. I will say this...I hate Akon. Apparently everyone in our hall has that CD, and listens to it on volume 11 at any and all given chances. I like to battle it with the most white boy music I can muster on my iHome for my iPod (thanks, Katie). Oh, we want to listen to Chingy? Fine. Jimmy Eat World it is. You get the picture. And if you don't, I still have Limp Bizkit on standby. And trust me, the music may not be enjoyable, but the reaction of my hallmates is.

There are two Marines to a room on our hall. Small rooms, a dorm-like setting. Obviously girls share rooms. The hall is co-ed, the rooms are not. Any of the females on the hall could also fight me, and win.

Our NCO's (basically, our bosses or whatever that check on us) are way cool. Very laid back, so we don't have too much worry about, unless we're just being retarded.

We went to downtown Newport alot this weekend..very nice area, little expensive, and we stuck out like a sore thumb, so we made alot of friends.

My fiance (that's still weird to say!) is sending me an Easter basket. Pretty sure I love that girl alot.. I try not to make her mad too much.

Well I guess that's enough rambling for now. My cheeseburger is ready.

Hmm...

2007-03-23T15:32:00.000-07:00

I wonder if anyone still checks this thing?

I am pondering re-entering the world of blogging. I've got a lot to say.

I think.

March Madness is the sweetest thing ever.

Clarity

2006-10-12T19:20:00.000-07:00

Ever get ready to make a big decision, wondering if you are making the right one or not?
The bottle caps are gone, and the license plates are all expired.
Three more days to try again at something new.

2006-09-30T15:44:00.000-07:00

I leave for Marine Corps boot camp in 8 days.

Whew.

Some Artistic reading

2006-07-19T13:21:00.000-07:00

Hey there.

I haven't updated in a while, but I think some people still read from time to time.
Although I don't really have much to report right now, I thought I would just leave a sweet poem I came across for your reading enjoyment. It's really quite touching. I'll write more later!

Call me crazy, call me a fool
But I believe dreams that come true
Cuz I found myself kissing you that night
While I gazed at you asleep
Dressed up in my ripped up jeans
I relived that memory tonight
That was the past, we didnt last
And somehow I know it was my fault
I lost my chance for your hand
Now I could just kick myself

Look at all the mess Ive made
Look at all the games Ive played
I think of all the time Ive wasted
I couldve been with you
Now all I do is just blame myself
Trash another nice hotel
Some nights it hurts like hell to know
That I couldve been with you (something about you)
I couldve been with you (cant live without you)

All my thoughts are filled with you
Thinking bout the chance I blew
Knowing what I wish I knew back then
I was stupid didnt wait
Now my mind is in a state
Of wondering what couldve been
Now its much too late
I shouldve called
I shouldve crawled
I shouldve done everything I could
This is pathetic I shouldnt have let it in
Now I could just kick myself

Look at all the tears Ive shared
Look at all the years I spent
Lying in this lonely bed when
I couldve been with you
Losing you was a big mistake
The pain is more than I can take
All the smiles I try to fake
But I couldve been with you

Cuz I remember everything you said
All went to my head
Now Im missing you (missing you)
Wish I was kissing you (again)
I let you slip right through my hands
Like a thousand grains of sand
Now I cant stand where I stand with you now

All my wishes lie in vain
So Im left here to take the pain
Of knowing that you can live without me
Now my heart is the one thats breaking
Chances I shouldve never taken
I shouldve known there was more at stake when
I couldve been with you

Now look at the one whos crying
And part of me is always dying
Knowing I shouldve kept on trying
And I couldve been with you (something about you)
I couldve been with you (cant live without you)
Couldve been with you (something about you)
Couldve been with you (cant live without you)

It's Been Awhile

2006-04-04T18:25:00.000-07:00

So, you would think that after nearly four months of not writing a single blog that I would have plenty to talk about.

I don't.

So I guess I will just talk about what's new, since apparently nothing cool has happened prior.

A year ago, I had just moved from Roseburg, Oregon to Sacramento, (you should know that state that's in). Now although I am back in Roseburg again, I still feel like the biggest is yet to come. The biggest what, I don't know. Change I guess. And it's not exactly like I think something bad is going to happen, maybe even the big break for me. Whether it be a good job, a music opportunity, or something else potentiall really sweet. All kinds of doors are opening, and I have no idea how the heck you are supposed to figure out which is the one to follow through on.

Remember the blog about coincidences and license plates and stuff? It was all bogus. I investigated deeper into the situation. It really must have been either a huge random string of occurences, or I was just missing the point entirely.

Having a steady girlfriend in my life has really impacted me alot. The mere fact that I've found a girl willing to have a committed relationship with me is one thing, considering it's been almost 3 years since the last one.

When you are in a relationship with someone you really see a future with, it's like every major decision becomes even more significant, seeing as it is potentially affecting more than just yourself. Or is it just that you are suddenly more motivated and only want to make the most reasonable decisions based on that alone?

This is boring, so I think I'm done for now. I leave you with this...

If my parents had done "the special hug that people who love each other very much do" just days prior, or even after, would I be any different?

Something I've been wondering about. I dunno.

Later

The Ninja, The Mermaid, and The One Who Made Them Both

2005-12-15T17:04:00.000-08:00

Hey. If you want to check out an extremely rough sample of some music I am working on, go to crookedboy.blogspot.com - so, yeah...

That's all.

Thanks.

Show on Friday the 2nd

2005-12-01T16:00:00.001-08:00

For anybody local, or who feels like driving, come to The Lion's Den on Friday night here in Roseburg (right across from the Court House).

I am opening with a 3 song set of the solo music I have been working on, joining me will be Jerod Hurtienne, Caleb Brooks, and Jeff Wetherell (yeah buddy).

Concept is playing next, and then I am playing my first show with Left Waiting. Should be a good time. It's free, so there's really no excuse. Unless you can think of something cooler to do on Friday nights than listen to live, mediocre music. See you there!

2005-12-01T16:00:00.000-08:00

I Love The Sound Of You Walking Away

2005-10-30T17:13:00.000-08:00

I have always been a thinker. Always thinking, pondering, questioning. I do it to a fault. This week alone, I have really been trying hard to figure out a couple of things that that confuse the heck out of me.

First of all, what are coincidences? Is it simply when two incidences coexist? What if it's repeated, over and over, almost like a "sign" or something? What is the difference between coincidence, and significance? When should you start paying attention? Are these coincidences really occuring as often as I think, or is my constant festering over them only making me more aware for the next time it comes...when other "coincidences" are happening just as frequently, only I am too busy obsessing over one and not the other to take notice. Can a random string of numbers that I see every time I look at the clock, every time I check how far into the song I am, every license plate, and every other object that has the potential to string this numeric phrase out, have any significance at all? Or am I simply coming to the realization that I am putting too much energy into some kind of hidden message, rather than looking into what I do know, and building off that.

Secondly, why do people care? Think about it. When somebody seems troubled, a distraught look on their face, and is audibly sighing, I think that is the human equivelent to a car wreck on the side of the road. Nobody just drives by the wreck, they all slow down, give their "oh, how unfortuante"-esque remarks, raise a sympathetic eyebrow, etc. But do they really care? Are they willing do get out of their own vehicle on the path where they are going, and take the time to help? Or is it just them slowing down, because they have a few seconds of free time to waste so that they can fill their curiousity?

If you were stranded on a desert island alone for a time, wandering, and suddenly came across another person, you would be ecstatic. You would run up to them, arms raised, and want to know everything about that person, right? Of course. But why should it only be in a time of when YOU need somebody ELSE that you make the effort? Why do we sit in silence in line at the grocery store? Why do we drive past the homeless, in the freezing rain, and not take the time to give even a couple of dollars, even just a conversation,? Because we justify to ourselves that we are too busy, we have a schedule, or that they are lazy and are deserving of their present state?

Is there any faith left to be had in the human race?

Am I the biggest hypocrite of all for asking more questions, yet still doing nothing about it myself?

Your thoughts, suggestions, insults, and grammatical corrections are welcome. I leave you with this...

In my city, what do churches and homeless people have in common?
There's one on every corner.

If nothing else, thanks for listening.

Quick Update

2005-10-08T13:12:00.000-07:00

My music blog has finally been updated; be sure to check that out and see what's going on, if you're interested.

Click here

I'll Dig A Tunnel, From My Window To Yours

2005-09-30T10:49:00.000-07:00

It's been a while since I have posted - for that I apologize. I'll just go ahead and throw a few quick updates on here, and hopefully I can start posting more often from now on.

I am still in job limbo. There may or may not still be a possibility of interning at Jeff's church with the youth, and then there is still the chance that I can go back to US Cellular when they open a new location next month. In the meantime, I am going out of my mind sitting around the house, just catching up on old movies.

I'm sitting at Jeff's house right now, working on music. We might actually record some stuff today (I know I've been saying that forever, but I mean it this time...I think).
About a year and half ago I was working on a song, and an old "friend" of mine has since run off with the song, and is now using it in his new band. Lame. Either way, like I said with lack of internet access I'll see what I can do from here on out. Stay classy, planet Earth.

We're All In This Together

2005-09-12T10:18:00.000-07:00

I am exhausted, tho I am not complaining.
Last weekend was incredible. Jeff, Stacey and I rolled into Pondo right at 4pm - just in time for the wedding rehearsal. It was awesome being back. It has only been roughly a month, but I swear it feels like it's been forever.
But more importantly, the wedding. I have attended, been in, and DJ's numerous weddings, and I thought I had seen some nice ones. But Amanda and Jasen (or, Jay-Hova as I like to call him) had one of the best put together ones I've ever seen. I thought I was gonna lose it when they were having their vows read. If you were there, admit it - you know what I'm talking about. Seriously you guys, congratulations.
We left camp Sunday morning at 10 am, and went down to Oceanside to see my family for my birthday. What did my family get me? A pod. A giant, 55 pound, pod. I don't really know how to explain any further than that...my parents just found it hilarious and kept making "Invasion Of The Body Snatchers" references. I don't know what tree they got it from, nor why it was so funny...*sigh*...my parents.
We didn't pull into Sacramento until 10, meaning we wouldn't get back to Roseburg until 6:30, and I had to be at work at 9. However, it was incredible. Jeff and I listened to the new Ben Lee album probably 12 times thru, each time singing louder and louder. We also have a rough cut of Ryan Sharp's new Cobalt Season CD. Oh gosh, that guy is amazing. He sang at Jay-hova's wedding, as well as serenaded Amanda down the aisle. And on a side note, besides being a great musician, when his portrait is painted, he looks suspiciously like Bruce Willis. So yeah, we made it safe.
I'm tired. So, rather than going into detail about other happenings in my life, I will vaguely summarize.
I may or may not have...
...Stolen my friend's car to house a deer carcass in the back seat to transport it to our front yard, name it Walter, and amuse our room mates.
...Information to Gary the Nutria's whereabouts
...received a pod for my birthday
...pretended I was The Transporter* for a majority of our driving trip

I think that's all. Sorry this post was lame.

*The new movie sucked

It's Not A Love Song

2005-09-07T11:55:00.000-07:00

Back in Roseburg, Oregon. I've been here about two weeks now, and once again my good friend Hannah hooked me up with a job. Once again with Comspan, but this time I am working with her at the cellular store.
Suffice to say, I now have regular access to the internet and should be able to update more often.
Perhaps I will share the story of Gary and Walter.

Down With Brickianity

2005-08-19T19:34:00.000-07:00

Transitioning sucks. Jeff and I were told we had 24 hours to be completely moved out of our apartment the other day. So, we sucked it up and worked super hard to get everything out, vaccuum, try to remove the lyrics we wrote on the walls, you know the usual. Unfortunately, we didn't have room for a lot of stuff, and had to throw alot away. One of those, being my bed.
Oh gosh, I love my bed. An old, rickety bed that takes about 25 seconds to assemble. And now, it's gone. We gave our couches, the bed, our table, computer desk, two reclining chairs, and probably other things to our neighbors, who were very appreciative. So appreciative, in fact, that one of them gave me some pot.
Yup.
He went to "shake my hand", and put something in my palm, then walked away. I opened my hand, and there it was.
A little ball of pot.
Jeff and I left it on the coffee table and laughed about it, and we think our cat ate it
----I now digress to clarify two points----
1) Jeff and I had NO intention of smoking it. We laughed about it, set it down, forgot about it, and it's gone
2) No, the pot did not affect our kitten, as it has to be heated to release the THC that gets you "high". So animal lovers, our neglect did not loose the morals of our pseudo-offspring.

And so now, Jeff and I are crashing at Stacey's, with all of our crap in her living room. There is scarce room to even move around. So, Jeff and I just play Xbox all day long while she is at work. It sounds great, but after a summer of round the clock activities, I think I am going out of my mind having nothing to do until my move.
When I can get a job, and start an income.
And get Wamu to stop harassing me.
And buy a new bed.
Velvet Elvis is amazing.
Later everyone.

Welcome Home

2005-08-12T03:28:00.000-07:00

Ok, it's 3:30 am and I've been driving all day, and thus have no idea what I am going to write about. What I do know is this...the new Coheed and Cambria album "IV" sounds incredible, there is a new song on both Myspace or at coheedandcambria.com, called "Welcome Home". Check it out. I would put the link up, but it appears Blogger is having problems with its html right now; I can't even italicize! Oh well, the new video premiers August 12. *chills run down spine*
Anyways.
Camp is over. It really flew by, and I gotta say it's a big change being back down the mountain in the "real world". This Sunday I won't be reporting back to camp, scanning the cabin lists (of which I was never assigned a ridge nor tent frame...yes...), and waiting for the new shipment of campers on Monday morning as we all sit and sweat together at the picnic tables waiting for our names to be called. I'm fairly sure that was a run on sentence, but you get the point.
I came to camp only knowing Jeff and Stacey, and came away with a lot more.
Alot of friends were made, alot of things were learned, and alot of ice cream sandwiches were handed out in Heaven. I am apologizing in advance to whoever happens to read my upcoming posts, because I'm sure for the next little while I will have nothing else to talk about other than random memories of the past summer. For now, I am going to get some sleep...in my own bed.

The Sad Trap Of Gravity...

2005-07-22T13:51:00.000-07:00

It's been a pretty crazy week. Spent the first half in Oceanside on the beach, and now I am back in Sacramento, a horrible, horrible place. But with the people I'm with, still having a pretty good time. SOMEBODY was claiming I don't update my blog enough. So, this is to that person. Tom from Myspace is really ticking me off, he needs to get his stuff together and let me log in. Apparently "be back shortly" means "whenever I get around to it". Well, that's it for now. Camp begins on Monday. Yee-uh.

A Good Woman Will Pick You Apart...

2005-07-09T14:26:00.000-07:00

Yup. Week 3 of camp was amazing! It was all high schoolers, and somehow I ended up with all the musicians. Four of them brough guitars, and I actually learned alot playing with them in our free time (I can now play an F chord). Mike (one of my campers) and I even wrote a song together. It has no name, you just name it after whichever girl you are playing it for at the time. Yes, it just might be the most romantic song ever written....by us.

This week, I also had a camper named Joseph Smith. He was crazy, and I still have these flashbacks of him running around in camo and his yellow banana. Joseph Smith was not a musician, but I do believe him to be a prophet.

I also came down with what I am sure is malaria. Along with symptoms of Ebola, Mono, and a loss of bone marrow. Brittany gave me some "medicine" that is probably the same thing the Indians took when they went on their spiritual journeys. She took me on a wild car ride down the mountain and back, as I slipped in and out of consciousness, waking to her picking flowers on the side of the mountain road (weird), washing her car, stopping for I have no idea what, and finally ending back at camp. Don't ever take medicine from Brittany. Ever.

Um...yeah. Great week, horrifically sick, but feeling much better today. The wide selection of breakfast foods (snickerdoodles and yogurt) is probably all that is keeping me alive. Next week is 260 junior highers.

I'll probably become addicted to Brittany's pills.

Later!