Back To The Fishbowl

So I'm here now. The drive was so long, but didn't really seem that way. We stopped in Orange County to see Jeff at the mall. We stopped in Bakersfield for a few hours, to have dinner with Sara's family and say goodbye to them. And then at 5 in the morning, we stop in Yreka (20 minutes from the border) to camp outside of the courthouse and wait for them to open. Ate at an amazing home style restaurant, I think the name was Black Bear or something like that. Greatest food ever. Got my court stuff taken care of and now I have a legal driver's licenese arriving in the mail soon. Sweet.

Roseburg so far has given me mixed emotions - partly because I hadn't slept in almost 40 hours and was very out of it. But the joy of familiarity is interrupted with the fact it's almost not so familiar...it's so changed. Even the closest of friends seem distant here. Man...I swear it is almost just like Garden State when Large gets into town. (Wait it's 11:11....have to say a prayer). Ok, back. Anyways yeah you just realize that everybody seems to be so content with being content. None of my plans have been revealed to anyone here yet, I don't think it's time. Well things are going well tho, and I will write more when I get the chance. Keep me in your prayers.

Mumpkin Follow-up

A couple more quick details about these little mumpkins...
Regarding cheating. If you're in class, and you copy off of a test, you're cheating, right? Well what about when you're not at school. You copy the homework of somebody and then present to your teacher the work "you" did. Answer? Still cheating.

And don't give me that "all we did was kiss" or "it didn't mean anything" bull crap, either. Yes, it's still cheating.

When you truely care about somebody, first of all, you won't want anybody else. It doesn't matter if you label yourselves "Boyfriend and girlfriend - dating since November 8th, 2003" Sometimes you just happen to meet somebody special, and they steal your heart. You praise God in the car on the way to work, for no reason other than that they are in your life. So many people fall in love, and so few actually grow in love. So it's not about not cheating. It's about being faithful because there's something so much better. As for me...my lips are lonely because my heart remembers.

Oh yeah. And I'm moving (for the time being) back to Fishbowl, OR tomorrow, aka Roseburg.

And finally, Mumpkin? Snatch is a great movie.

It's About To Go Down

So yeah. I bought the new Used album, and the new Jimmy Eat World album. They both seem to be worth your 12 bucks. And if you still haven't gotten Straylight Run - get on it.

I leave Wednesday morning. EARLY Wednesday morning, like the wee hours. I'm not sure what hours constitue being "wee" but I'm guessing 1 or 2am warrant a "wee" rating. I then quit my job, move out of my house, and basically leave everything of "comfort" behind to be closer to my goals in music, and a girl (you're darn right she's a mumpkin!).

Where will I stay? What will I do for money? How long will I be gone? Will any of this even work out? Funny thing is, the less in control I am, the more in control God can be. Cliche` yes. But you know how things become cliche`? Because they're always right. Of course something will sound over used if it's always proven to be true! Well, I don't have too much to say tonight so I'm gonna end it about here. Goodnite.

Anybody who begins living in Christ becomes a new creature
Begins a new life
This is the music diriven from that decision, and every decision after that
My New Life Sdtrk

Mumpkin. What is one? Where can I find one?

If you were to ask Jeeves what a "mumpkin" was, you would get a result for "Life With Mumpkin: Die Hard Bronco Fan". If you asked the Webster's Dictionary, there is no entry found. Did I mean "bumpkin"? It would seem that there is no real way to define what a "mumpkin" is, or where they come from. I myself have been intrigued by this strange breed of girls...or "mumpkins". Have you met a mumpkin? Compare with these 10 requirements and see for yourself.

1. A potential mumpkin pledge cannot become a mumpkin by any act or belief. You must be dubbed into mumpkinhood by a dude who understands what mumpkinhood is.
2. Mumpkins don't mate until after marriage. If a mumpkin has mated before, it must no longer.
3. Mumpkins are almost impossible to find. And harder to catch. My friend Andrew met one when we was 14. He didn't get the chance to date the mumpkin until he was 19. Mumpkins require a great deal of patience.
4. You can NOT cheat on a mumpkin. Will they cheat on you? No. That would be un-mumpkinlike. They do however, cheat on bets you make with them. (i.e., the "prone" definition bet)
5. Mumpkins require extremely affectionate pet names, such as "Lizard Lips" and/or "Farting Ferret".
6. Mumpkins believe in, and follow Jesus. Not the devil.
7. Mumpkins are impossible to understand and will frustrate you to no end.
8. Mumpkins are telepathic. But they never share it with you.
9. Mumpkins have incredible taste in music, and movies. Tho sometimes they don't appreciate classics such as "Snatch". In this case, if they are really pretty, you can let it slide.
10. Kelly Clarkson is not, nor ever will be, a mumpkin. See #6.

I will embelish on this a bit more when I have time.

Amber's Question: 2

Again today I was talking to Amber on the phone, roughly embelishing on her question of why God allows us to rebel if it hurts Him so much. She was telling me how lately it seems he has almost been questioning or doubting God's motives on things. Lately I have been - I feel that that is a good thing. Let's say you and I wake up one morning, and I go outside. You ask me what the weather is like and I tell you it is mostly sunny, but might rain later. You can keep sitting on the couch, and take what I said as truth. And anybody who asks you about the weather, you can say "It's mostly sunny, but might rain later". When people ask you why you believe that you can only say that's what you heard, or whatever have you. But there is nothing wrong with taking the intiative to look outside for yourself. It's not necessarily a lack of belief in what I told you, you just wanted to experience it rather than take a second hand answer. When we get to this point in our lives (20, 21, etc...) we don't have to still live on a story our youth pastor told us in the 9th grade. Or what our church pastor told us on Sunday. "God, my friend just died. You claim that Your glory will be shown in all things, and I don't see how that could be so right now". Talk to God! He understand a lot more than we give Him credit for. I AM NOT IMPLYING TO QUESTION GOD. But to ask Him questions can help you know His character better.
Second. Let's say that somebody strongly believes in God, but not Jesus necessarily. Is that wrong? Yes. Because the Truth is that Jesus is real. " Romans 2:12-13: Some people do not know God's Law when they sin. They will not be judged by the law when they Die. Others do know God's Law when they sin...hearing the Law does not make a person right with God. People are considered to be right with God only when they obey the Laws.
That is from the NIRV translation, a translation written for third grade reading level so VERY plainly put. Check it out in your translation and compare. The child in Africa who has never heard of Jesus won't be judged like you or I would. Each will have a chance to accept or deny the Truth. You can't believe that the World War II happened, but not believe that Pearl Harbor did. It's all or nothing. Hope I clarified! Your thoughts....

Beef Jerky

That stuff is great. Anyways...today was a pretty standard day. Only there is a large hole in the storage room of my work which I SWEAR I am not responsible for. So...it's been raining thru this hole the past couple of days, ruining some cheap AirSoft guns. Tomorrow morning I am marching into Home Depot and grabbing some materials. Going into work, and fixing that ceiling. With duct tape, plastic stuff, and testosterone. I'm probably going to end up just making the hole bigger.

OK, seriously, as some of you may know I am a firm believer that God speaks to me thru liscense plates. Now, it's not so much just liscense plates, it's just that they are the most obvious way to show me things. You see, they have so many numbers and letters on them. These "coincidental" arrangements of number have been tripping me out for a few months now. Not so sure where the fine line of coincidences ends...it's all good though. Makes for good conversation starters with God.

And so apparently, Sara didn't die. Nor did her doctor feel the need to amputate her finger. Which is good, because if they had, I don't know how she would dial her cell phone (I'm kidding). Anyways, I said I would keep you updated so there it was. Sidenote: if cats are fighting, throw water on them. They get too caught up in their fury and will attack anything that comes near them, including Sara.

It is 1 am on Tuesday morning, Brocktober 19th. That means two things. One, there is a new commercial for the upcoming Relient K album at mmhmm.com and two, there are 8 days until I embark on my journey.

Upcoming posts: What my journey entails, dream interpretation, and mumpkin definition. Wow

Wow

So...me and Jeff are (surprise) eating at Chili's tonight. The phone rings. And it's sara. I didn't answer because I was right in the middle of a fajita. Well, I wasn't in a fajita, I was eating one I mean. Anyways, I check my message after eating. Sara is crying like a Nike Laborer about something or other and wants me to call her back. So...I do. But her battery is flat, so the phone keeps cutting out. All I can hear it "I'm ok, I'm ok". Nice Gerard, but what was wro ng? Finally after the 6th call, she tells me "...I got bit by a cat. Really bad". So I laughed. Hard. She got pissed. She calls me back and says "It's not funny! Now I have to get shots up my butt!". I mean due to Tetanus (sp) I understand shots in the butt. But UP the butt? Wow. Jeff speculates the only cat that warrants those kind of shots and/or tears is a Liger (a lion and tiger mixed. Bred for its magic powers). Anyways, I will update to make you all know she is ok. But admit it, you laughed, too.

Amber's Question

So last night as I was playing AirSoft in a HOUSE (yeah, it was sick), I got a phone call just before the first game started. I'm in prime position, game starting any minute and I get a call from "unavailable". So I answer it, and it's Amber. Her phone was, as always, cutting out - so I may have missed what she asked me. But it was something to the effect of why does God allow us to be incapable of perfection, if we are hurting Him so much by going again His Will so often? I may have misunderstood, but here would be my answer to that -

In the beginning, God made heaven and earth, everything between, and then man. Then woman. We could do all and eat all we wanted, save the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil. We ate, then therefore became AWARE of the difference between Good and Evil. Now we know the difference between right and wrong. The first thing we noticed? Being naked (haha). So...now we know right and wrong. God tried to protect us, but we were deceived by the Evil one (see a trend here?). Now there's the Sunday School "duh" answer. Digging deeper...
If we never screwed up, God would never be able to show forgiveness. Lying, jealousy, stuff like that. And if we never screwed up BIG TIME, then He would never be able to show mercy. We deserve nothing short of Hell eternal for the "smallest" of sins. Yet no matter how big or small they seem to us, God sees all of them as unacceptable, yet He is Faithful and Just to forgive. Remember in Exodus when God said (paraphrased)"But I will harden Pharoah's heart, and he will not listen to you, that my Glory will be shown"? All things work for Good (trend!) for those who Love God. And as much as it pains our God to see us running around not trusting Him and sinning againt Him, all He wants is for us to come to Him and be with Him forever. Our greatest "backsliding" points of life are like a tempor tantrum to God, I think. He sits with arms crossed and says "Are you done yet?". Hopefully this clarified a little bit. Because if I wasn't a scumbag sinner - and I am - then what faith and love would I have to have for God to try? Our efforts are rewarded greatly.

Question! If what I said about God wanted us to be with Him in Eternity is true - why is there earth? Why didn't He just create us as souls in the first place? So we could be made in His image...then we got free will....I just answered myself like it was the same question....time for bed apparently. Goodnight Amber

Bringing The Mosh

Yo. So friggin' this morning I was in the greatest mood. It had to do with how God has been revealing Himself to me lately. Anyways, I go out to the car to boogie down to work...something is awry...my deck is missing. My cd's are missing. And yes, my BASS is missing. Got jacked for the third time in less than two years. Bummed me out, man. A week and a half before I'm supposed to go to Oregon to try and start a band and I lose my BASS?!? What's up with that?

At work, some experiments went down. Me and my scientific buddy Phil took a can of green gas (for airsoft), and put it in our shooting box - a plastic 3 foot by 2 foot box we like to call the "chamber of secrets". So anyways, I then shot the can of green gas with my Ruger sniper rifle. Can bursts, and gas fills the Chamber of Secrets. So what's the only logical thing to do now? Tape a piece of paper towel to a stick, light the paper, and stick it into the box. The Chamber of Secrets spat a small fireball at me, to which I backed up quickly. Phil quickly extinguished the flame with well aimed squirts of Windex. Then..would it light again? It did. Oh child, it did. The Chamber of Secrets literally growled with the sound of a thousand Swedes. My eyebrows were singed blonde, my face was reddened, and the left side of my hair caught fire. I screamed, and ran into the back room so fast the fire must have dissapated (thank God). We had to take the smoking Chamber of Secrets outside to let it cool down, as the whole store was bellowing smoke out of it. The whole back wall is covered in soot, and burned. I need chemicals. And I have pictures.

Running In The Straylight

Yes. Go puchase the debut album from Straylight Run. Beautiful piano driven melodic emo. Best album since July (Which was of course, Taking Back Sunday's "Where You Want To Be"). Anyways, just letting you know.
Well, this will just be a quick update. I'm still at work at 9:50 pm. That's because I am going to see the greatest movie ever with Jeff, Stacey (his girlfriend) and their friend Andrea. The greatest movie ever? I Heart Huckabees. I haven't seen it but I'm pretty sure it will be amazing.
Talked to Amber tonight (the mumpkin). That was good, we always end up having the greatest conversations. I love making her laugh...perhaps that is part of the reason God made me such an idiot...hmmm...
Emo thought of the day: Amber has the most beautiful voice; Miss her like crazy. If you're reading this, I'll see you soon, Snoopy! I'm out to see Huckabee's, y'all.

What? Two posts in one day?

That's right. I have an extra day off this week. Now I SHOULD be at the DMV right now renewing my liscense which has been expired since my birthday, over a month ago. BUT I think that I will sit here at my computer and be counter-productive. If anybody is interested in AirSoft, a great website to go to is www.858airsoft.com - my personal friend Tyler put his own time and money into it. Plus, the forum is rad. Get a screen name and ask questions, lot of cool people to talk to if you want to learn about the sport. It is definetly taking over paintball.

So...I'm on my way to the bank this afternoon to deposit some money and Amber calls me. For those of you not up to speed - Amber, aka Snoopy, aka The Sweet Chinchilla, aka Amber Lynn, aka Muhammed Ali, aka whatever random name comes to mind when I'm trying to make her laugh - is a friggin' cool girl who lived down here for a while, but now is back in Idaho takin' care of business. She's what some might call a "Mumpkin". I'll go into detail what "Mumpkinhood" is all about some other time. Irregardless, I miss her like crazy, and it's not often that we get to talk so it was nice hearing from her today. Glad you're doing well, Amber.

Final update, I will soon be completely finished with my cutting-edge children's book, "Sherman the Rabbit Finds Himself". It's gonna be sick. Later

Spectacular Views

So last night after work, I met up with Genoa at Barne's & Noble, and went with her to take her friend home. CHRIS TROY! He's 15, but a sponsored skater and he's the MAN. Keep an eye out for him...
Anyways after we took him home, we went to her house to write some music. I wrote the lyrics for a fairly solid song, and she began on the piano part. It was interesting, I wrote about how when we become bitter during our hard times, that becomes our comfort. We would rather sit in our room and mope about the past then get out and do something about it (for me it was true, anyways). And how we blame ourselves for our "horrible" pasts.

"But Samson sold his given gift, for a lustful smile,
And David stole another's wife, that cost him his first child"

That was a line I wrote, because me and my buddy Mike had talked about that, as well as Jeff. David was called "a man after God's own heart", and he had committed adultery AND murdered. God's not concerned with our past! It's not what you've done, it's what you'll do afterwards.

The last thought is a question thought: do animals worship? I mean seriously...when the wolf howls at the moon. When the rooster crows. When the birds sing every morning as the sun comes up...I read somewhere that even the flowers of the field are pleasing to the Lord, their only act is being beautiful as God created them with their vibrant colors. Perhaps it's not too farfetched that we as humans are not the only of God's creations to recognize Him as Lord.....

So tonight me and this girl Genoa were going to go to the Eisley/Snow Patrol show at Cane's Bar and Grill. After waiting in line for over an hour, they won't let me in because my liscense is expired. I talk her into going in anyways (she saw some people she knew in line), while I would just wait. Now..what do to for 2 hours...
I went for a walk. A homeless man was sittin on a bus bench, asking for change. I gave him a few bucks and went on my way. A few minutes later I found myself still thinking about him, so I went back to talk to him. Sat down and offered to go get some pizza, but he was "on the move". Apparently..."they" are trying to capture him, lock him in a room, and use his electricity to charge batteries for Sears. He won't let them though, no sir. His body electricity is only for him. Also, he moves state to state so he WON'T establish residency. Why wouldn't he want residency in a certain state? Because "they" want him to...that's right...run for Senate. And no, he's not going to "f'ing do it". He would rather "live in a bush". Finally, be aware that "they" are slowly converting the area between Belmont Park and Rancho Bernardo into...a moon station. He found out while "they" had him in captivity, something he over heard.His bus came, and he went on his way.
I then walked along the beach (I was in Mission Bay) for a while, thinking my thoughts. After a while, I was walking back and saw a mentally challenged dude in a wheelchair, with his head down. As I walked past, he asked me softly if I could dial this number, and handed me a card. It was his care taker. I called the number and heard "Oh my God, where are you?!?!". Apparently people were looking for this guy. He said he missed his bus stop and was waiting there a bit. I told the care-takers to meet me at the Jack In The Box. So off me and my new buddy Robert Fox go, to Jack In The Box to get some food. He's the friggin' man. He's 42, watches cartoons daily, and loves Elton John. When I asked him how many people he asked for help, he said I was the first, he doesn't talk to strangers. I said but what about me and he said "You didn't look like a stranger to me". So...finally after Robert threw down like 8 friggin' chicken pieces (hungry fella), his people came for him. APPARENTLY...the friggin' police were looking for him and everything. He had been wandering around since 2:30 that afternoon. I got to him at 10:30. So that means that he had been wheeling himself around Bellmont Park for 8 hours...and I was the ONLY person he asked for help. After me missing the show, wandering here and there, getting food, learning of hobo's theories, I wind up right here, with Robert Fox, talking about the insecurities of failing, and how hard it is to ask for help. Funny how God constantly reminds of how tripped out His timing is. Going from bummed out to missing a concert, to the feeling of helping a lost, handicapped man find his way home. Take your pepper.

And I Know Much More Than I Did Back Then...

Why do the best things that ever happen to us, always happen so fast? Why do the good memories hurt so much more than the bad ones? For me anyways, I think it's because I have high expectations. I can easily remember times when I (in hindsight) had it all. And now i go day to day, happy...yet not content. I've been hanging with Jeff lately, one of my best friends. I find that when we talk, we either reminisce on the past, or talk about how exciting/scary the future is. And how we want it to be. The present to us is either a reminder of what HAS happened, or a merging path on the road of where we want to be. I don't think either one of us has ever kicked back, thrown back a cold one, and said 'This is it right here, buddy. This is what life is all about. This is where I have always wanted to be". I think that years from now, when (Lord willing) we are married (to girls), have families, and musical careers, we will STILL be talking of the old times, and wondering about tomorrow.
It seems we go our whole life worrying about tomorrow. When we're six, it's what to bring to show and tell. When we're 15, it's our history paper. When we're 21 (and you're like me), it's balancing such a pivotal "make it or break it" point in our lives thus far. But it won't end there...soon "tomorrow" we wil worry about mortgage. Our kids' well being. And so on...so whats the point of worrying? Yes, I am being a HUGE hypocrite right now. I worry like it's cool twice. But when you ask God to teach you how to swim, He throws you in the white water rapids. Cliche` as it may be, God's Word is a lamp unto our feet. What that means to me, is you can only see one step at a time. And if things and people I love are more than a step away, I have to do something to get there. Sitting in one place is comfortable, but good is always best's worst enemy. I know I've rambled...but I feel better.